I watch you like a hawk _Oli Sykes Fanfiction

Chapter 64

Oli's POV:

"This has got the best of me and I can't seem to sleep

It's not cause you're not with me

It's just you never leave" _ It Never Ends, BMTH

I felt restless. Kat had called Jordan saying she would come by this afternoon, and ever since I'd been pacing the living room. And when the guys grew tired of it, they sent me back to my room (with Lee in tail to make sure I didn't do anything stupid, of course). Thanks for the vote of confidence, guys.

In a way, I got where they were coming from. I'd been borderline crazy before, and the drugs had only made it worse. Over the last month or so, I'd worked up a pattern: I'd take a shot of ketamine and be out of it for the next few hours or the rest of the day (depending on the amount), then I'd spend two or three days clean, growing more and more restless and agitated until I took a shot again.

Kat's visit was three days ago, so you can work it out for yourself. I was craving my next fix. It didn't really surprise me how quickly I was falling back my addiction. Not only were the chemicals of the drug addictive, but I couldn't go without the feeling it procured. I needed the numbness and the calm it gave me, the loss of feeling and control in my body helping me clean my head of all thoughts. Just, empty. It was a relief.

But now, even as I was drug-deprived, I couldn't help but imagine the look in Kat's eyes if she found me under drugs again. And call me a coward, but I couldn't deal with the disappointment and pity. So I grit my teeth and paced my bedroom, waiting for her arrival.

How would she react? Would she be nice? Happy? Sad? Spiteful? And more importantly, did she still care? Now would be a nice time to get my next shot, just to silence these endless questions filling my mind. Every possible issue was painful, so it was really only pointless torture.

An hour later, the doorbell rang. I looked up sharply from my phone, where I'd been idly reading fanmail. They sometimes managed to cheer me up, but this time the anxiety was much too powerful for them to be of any help. I jumped up from my bed and hurried down the stairs along with Lee.

Downstairs, Kat was greeting Jordan and the two Matts, and...introducing someone to them? I heard an unfamiliar male voice and felt myself tense all over. What the—? I didn't have time to think of the possibilities before Lee took hold of my teeshirt and dragged me down the stairs. I pushed him off of me violently.

"Don't. Touch. Me," I bit out before straightening myself.

Lee frowned before turning on his heels. Letting out a breath, I followed his lead as he strode into the living-room.

I was not ready for the sight that met me.

Kat was kissing another guy. Her eyes were closed as she pressed her smiling lips to the guys', weaving her fingers through his dark hair.

All color fled my face and my heart sank, sank, sank. Matt K cleared his throat rudely, causing the lovebirds to part. Kat sent Matt K a sheepish smile, while the guy just smirked. White hot rage flooded through my veins. I wanted to wipe the smug look off of his face. What right had he to kiss my Kat? And what right had she to like it?

Every. Every right, I thought grimly. It was my own fucking problem I was still hung up on her.

At that moment, Kat looked up and met my gaze. Immediately my defenses built up and I made sure my exterior stayed cool. I hadn't used that method for a while, so I was a bit rusty on the whole emotionless thing. Still, I managed to regain some self-control and gave Kat a tight smile, keeping my much-too-raw feelings hidden at bay.