I watch you like a hawk _Oli Sykes Fanfiction

Chapter 21

Kat's POV:

"These wounds were open

Like lines in the sand

The world is sleeping

But they still have hope so..." _ Resurrect the sun, BVB

"I got a call to make, I'll be back in five," I told Chris before leaving the room.

Excitement rushed through me, and I needed to tell Ash about it. I needed to share my happiness with someone who'd actually understand what was going on.

"Ash?"

"What's up Kitty? How's the training going?"

"Oh...um...good. Ash, I need to tell you something. I...I'm over the whole Oli thing. I mean, all this time, I thought that if I did meet him, my world would come tumbling down, because obviously he couldn't be as perfect as I needed him to be, right?"

"Are you saying that he is?" Ash asked, the tension in his voice tangible.

"No! Oh God no!"

Ash breathed a sigh of relief.

"God Kat, you scared me there. But what do you mean, then?"

"Well, you know how I hung on this image of him, that it gave me hope and the strenght to continue. Well, I realized that that's what it was. An image. And that despite how much BMTH's lyrics and music helped me, in the end it's me that made the decision to carry on, not him. So it doesn't make any sense for me to need him to be perfect. I mean, it's complete nonsense. I should be grateful to him, in all his imperfection, because that's what I liked about him in the first place... It's complictaed, but the point is, I don't mind spending time with him now. I mean, I want to. It's Oli fucking Sykes!"

Ash laughed.

"Aww I'm so happy for you Kitty! You finally got some sense in that little head of yours."

"Shut up," I said, but I was grinning like an idiot.

"Look, this is awesome, okay? But there might just be a little problem..."

Oh no.

"What?"

"I might have told him to stay away from you..."

"What did you do? How could you go behind my back like that?"

"Hey! I couldn't watch you suffer every time he talked to you! So I told him that if he appreciated being alive, he'd better stay clear of you when you weren't working together."

"Oh my God," I whimpered.

"I'm sorry, Kat."

I sighed. I couldn't even be mad at Ash, because he'd done it for me. Because a day ago, I would've been incredibly thankful. But now it just meant more awkwardness between Oli and me...and less chance of ever becoming friends.

"It's okay."

"No it isn't," he sighed. "Don't lie to me, I can hear it in your voice. I'll talk to him, take back what I said."

"No! God, that'd make me look terrible."

"What, then?"

"I'll just have to hope that he doesn't pay too much attention to what you told him..."

Ash chuckled.

"Yeah, we have a good chance of that."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing Kitty, nothing."

"Okay, whatever. I'm gonna go now, and when I get back to the bus, you better make it up for me. because you potentially ruined my friendship with my idol."

"Bye!"

I ended the call and stared at the phone for a while, biting my lip. I would just have to ignore it, I decided, pretend that Ash had never said anything to Oli. And pray that Oli didn't mention it, or follow Ash's orders too closely.

When I got back to the training room, they were all waiting for me. My bandmates were all on stage, their instruments ready, while Oli stood looking at a sheet of paper, obviously trying to remember lyrics.

"Which one are we doing?" I asked to no one in particular.

"Lost," Oli said, his voice strangely devoid of emotion.

Oh.

What had possessed me to add this song to the list of possible duets?

I looked at Oli's face, trying to decipher his expression, but it was unreadable. I swallowed hard.

"Okay."

I joined them onstage, and Chris offered me a copy of the lyrics, but I shook my head. I remembered how I'd  divided the text perfectly. I breathed deeply as Ethan and Dan started the soft intro. More than any other song, this one took me back to the dark place where I was a few years back. I'd stopped self-harming only a few weeks before writing this song, and it had been a way of explaining why I'd turned to it. Of course it was impossible to really describe, I had just put all my feelings in it, which is why I always felt so emotionally exhausted after singing it. I couldn't help but wonder how it was going to be like sung in a duet, because it was so personal a song, and I had no idea how Oli would interpret it.

Spoiler alert: heartbreakingly well.

He poured just as much emotion as I did in every word, in the darkness, desperation and never-ending sadness of the bleak lyrics. The combination of our voices made the song that much more beautiful, as his powerful screams carried mine to a whole new level, and my high clean vocals balanced his deeper, wretched ones. It was incredible. But then again, who could have expected anything less from Oli?

After this song, Oli went back to his bus, because he had a concert tomorrow and needed to train with his own band. The rest of us picked out which songs we would like to sing for our next concert, which would be the last one before Oli officially took part in them.

When we finally got back to our bus, I was so tired I could barely stand, and just collapsed on the couch. The others gathered around me and we put on a movie. I didn't even know which one, and it didn't really matter because I was asleep within the ten first minutes of it.

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Oh god Ashley fucked up haha :'D no good for KOLI...but don't worry, it's gonna sort itself out :) And it's so cute when they sing together, don't you think?

Listening to "Me without you" by ATL, I'm in love with that song <3 Who else loves ATL?

Okay, gotta go, see you soon :) lots of love

_ Othilia