I watch you like a hawk _Oli Sykes Fanfiction

Chapter 14

Oli's POV

"You told me 'think about it' well I did

Now I don't wanna feel a thing anymore" _ King for a day, PTV feat. Kellin Quinn

 Well, that went better than I'd expected. Sort of. I didn't know if avoiding each other had been a good thing. I mean, I hadn't had to confront Kat about the kiss, which had probably spared me both humiliation and hurt, but now it felt like I had an unresolved issue on my hands. God I'd been shocked when Cam had started accusing me of taking advantage of Kat. It'd been for fun, sure, but still, it got to me. Which, again, didn't make any sense considering the obvious lack of importance of the kiss to Kat. So I guessed her avoiding me was just proof of what Purdy had told me. She wanted nothing to do with me. I sighed at how miserable that made me feel. It wasn't like I knew her! I was thinking in circles and none of the thoughts did anything but sadden me further.

Apart from the 'Kat' part of the meeting, I'd actually had a pretty good time, despite my hangover. I really liked Ethan and Chris, and I guess they reciprocated the feeling since they'd invited me to their 'guys'-night-out' tomorrow. Dan seemed like a decent guy too, but I couldn't help remembering Ethan saying he had a crush on Kat, or the way that she'd sat on his lap to make space for me on the couch.

It was around noon when I got back to the tour bus. Lee and the two Matts were eating lunch, and Lee handed me a tomato-salad sandwich.

"So, how was it."

"Good, I guess, nothing special," I said, shrugging. "We just discussed the dates of the training sessions and the concerts where I'll participate. They're really nice people."

"What about the girl?" Matt N inquired, smiling. "You know, the cute one."

"What about her?" I answered defensively.

Matt K noticed my change of tone, and he raised an eyebrow at me, but I was spared any questions as Jordan entered. He scowled a little at me, making me remember the way he'd answered the phone this morning. I wondered why he was angry with me. After eating, I took him by the arm and went to the small living room.

"What's up, man? Are you pissed at me or something?"

"Yeah, 'pissed' sums it up real well," he answered sharply.

"Okay...why?"

"You're such a diva, Oli. You don't pay attention to the training, you're always moody and shut off, and now you think you can just go off sleeping with a groupie wherever and not warn us, risk that we get late with the tour and just get away with it? We didn't know where the fuck you were! Shona was worried out of her mind, and you don't even bother calling to say where you are. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you, but it needs to stop. You're not the only person in this band, and you can't just go around treating us like we're crap. So get a grip, man."

His voice was angry and each word hurt, because it was all true.

"You remind me of yourself back when--"

He cut himself off, but instantly I knew that he was refering to the time we'd first met, when I was still addicted to ketamine, before writing Sempiternal. And I understood that his anger was also fueled by worry.  Jordan was just about to leave the room when he suddenly looked back, and said, his tone no longer mad but disappointed:

"And about the groupie, I really thought you were better than that."

I sank on an armchair. With Kat constantly on my mind, I'd neglected my band mates these past few days. 'Get a grip'. Jordan was right. I couldn't just start being an asshole to them because I was frustrated with what was happening with Kat. What Jordan had said about the groupie had really gotten to me, too. It wasn't like me to sleep with a random person at a party, especially a groupie. Sure, it'd happened before, but it wasn't something I was particularly proud of. And I knew exactly why I'd done it, which only made it worse. Sleeping with the groupie had been an irrationnal, childish way of getting back at Kat. But for what? For not liking me back?