I watch you like a hawk _Oli Sykes Fanfiction

Chapter 20

Oli's POV

"Do you wish that you could cut yourself out of your skin?" _ Join the Club, BMTH

Kat had just asked me a question and I had no idea what it was. I was too occupied staring at her. She was smiling widely, a smile that showed dimples and made her eyes shine. And she smiling at me. For some reason.

"Huh?" I said, very intelligently.

Dan let out a laugh.

"We're gonna work together for the rest of the summer, Kat. Don't you think you'll have many other opportunities to get an autograph?"

Kat bit her lip (which was fucking adorable) and lowered her head, looking a little ashamed (which was fucking heartwrenching). I kept myself from giving Dan the finger. She wanted an autograph? I'd give her twenty if she wanted! But I reined the feeling in, and apparently Kat had already moved on. She spoke a few words that I didn't catch to Chris, then walked outside. I turned towards the rest of the band and Ethan went up to me immediately.

"So, we were thinking we might work on one of our songs next. We recently re-wrote some of them into duets, and so we've got these four to chose from," he said, waving some sheets of paper at me. "but we can't figure out which one to go with first. Wanna take a look?"

"Sure."

He handed me the sheets and I picked one at random. It was called "Lost", and the lyrics were about--

"What the fuck?"

"What--" Ethan cut himself off as his eyes went from my ashen face to the song in my hands. "Oh. Yeah...it's about her cutting..."

"Does she--" I cleared my throat. I was trying very to keep my voice calm, but I felt like any second my control was gonna slip. "Does she still cut herself?"

Ethan shook his head and I felt an enormous wave of relief. Thank God. But the question remained: why would she cut herself in the first place? What could've hurt her so bad that she had decided to take it out on herself? I read the rest of lyrics thoroughly, trying to find any form of indication in them, but there wasn't any. On the other hand, the obvious pain and desperation of the lyrics got to me and I wanted to go back in time to past-Kat and hug her so, so tightly and tell her everything was going to be okay. I wouldn't mind doing it to present-Kat either, because from what I'd seen of her (namely her nervous breakdown when she'd first seen me...shit), she still wasn't very okay now. But then I remembered that that was probably Purdy's job. I wanted to ask Ethan what had fucked her up so badly, but I couldn't bring myself to. Firstly, it wasn't my place, and secondly...I was a bit afraid of what the answer might be. Sighing, I read the song once again before handing it back to Ethan.

"That one," I said, "let's do that one."

The others agreed and showed me how the music went. It went sad and raw and beautiful. Perfect.

Only later did I realize I hadn't even looked at the other songs. 

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Sorry if this was triggering to anyone :/ I actually wrote the song Lost, tell me down in the comments if you want me to post the lyrics. Spoiler alert: it's sad...

Oli's such a cutie <3

Kat's POV in the next chapter :)

See you soon! Bye!

_ Othilia