you stared with a entirely bombastically baffled look on your face, hands interlocked behind your head.
standing down the alley, devouring the arm of the woman was the bootylicious, blond haired, rainbow eyed DOUMA.
fuck my fucking life..
you contemplated turning around and making a run for it, nervously biting your nails.
how did he not know you were here?
or maybe he did and was just messing with you?
you growled lowly, flinching heavily as douma's figure suddenly stiffened slightly.
AH SHIT
you were mid step backwards when douma's head slowly turned, looking like one of those creepy owls.
"fuck" you said simply, he faced his whole body to you with a tilt of his head, a grin raising on his face.
you turn away while biting your lip,
fark, why's he have to be so damn sexy
meanwhile, he inspects you.
a demon slayer, huh? not very strong, she seems new, even. haha, what luck for a newbie slayer! hm, is she a tsuguko? ah, i believe so. hm, she's quite odd, though, huh? i couldn't even tell she was here! haha! how strange..
"ah, hello girl!" he waved cheerily.
you pursed your lips, blinking dully at him.
wtf were you supposed to say?
'hii douma baby pls kidnap me and take me to your temple my alpha sigma king'
i meaaannnnn... no! i shan't.
you sniff, looking oddly at the male. his head tilts to the other side, your lack of response and odd inquisitive look making him curious.
he was surprised you hadn't run off yet, but then again you probably couldn't see his eyes.
he took a step closer, you stiffened.
errr, let's take two steps back..
"what's with the silence? y'know, i feel kinda offended when you don't respond to me.." he frowns.
you squint, "this would be a wholleee lot more intimidating if i knew what the fuck you were saying" you mutter, head tilting.
he blinks,
huh? oh? a foreigner? hm? a foreigner as a demon slayer? how.. fascinating. how does that happen?
he tilted his head from one side to the other and you scratched your head awkwardly,
this is lowks akward.. brothers just staring.. i mean, not that i'm complaining fr..
you cleared your throat awkwardly, he smiled, standing straight and staring straight at you.
you give a half-assed grin back.
what?
you were trying to be nice.
he looked mildly confused, but laughed, "aw, you're pretty cute, aren't you?"
your smile stiffens.
you're joking.
your eye twitches.
of fucking course he knows english. crap. do all uppermoons know english? i mean, it's like that in pretty much every other book.... wait...
you pause, blushing slightly.
had he just called you cute?
cute, i'm not cute! i mean my parents call me cute, but honestly i've never heard it from someone else before-
STOP.
you sniff again, feeling incredibly awkward.
"er.. thank.. you?" you questioned your own words, internally dying at how awkward this was.
this was not how you imagined meeting your fictional crushes would be.
he took another step closer and you stiffened,
no way brotha, i am not cut out for this shit
"haha... you wanna, uh, back up a bit?"
he blinks, grins, and takes a step closer.
your smile things, "personal space, buddy"
he takes another step closer.
"BITCH I SAID PERSONAL SPACE" you jump back, he blinks at your language, tilting his head once again.
"ah, you're a funny little foreigner! i've never heard someone use such foul language before! haha!"
you scrunch your face up.
"hm.. ooh, i have an idea! hm! wouldn't it be so fun if i took you back to my cult?"
the blood drained from your face slightly.
"ooh, or even to that man! i wonder how he would feel about some odd foreigner!" he giggled.
you were sure you looked like a ghost at that rate.
nuh uh, i am not about to get kidnapped on my first mission
so you did the best thing you could think of.
and shouted.
"uhh, skibidi toilet rizz!"
and skedaddled right outta there.
douma watched you run away, baffled.
date posted ; 30/05/24
yes. it's cringe. i know. but making y/n cringe is funny 😇 also she's doing most of this ironically. like she doesn't actually think skibidi toilet is funny 🙏 well kind of.. it lowkey can be funny (not the actual show, the skibidi toilet rizz sound..) 😜
