The Perfect Summer

Chapter 35: A reason?

The lights were off when I got in so I flicked the switch on, I was going to make myself some tea and maybe get something to eat but I didn't feel like it so instead I walked up the stairs flicking off the switch and then making my way to my bedroom to change out of my wet clothes and into a comfty t-shirt and leggings.

I got into the duvet with the light still on and thought about everything that had happened, it seemed that I had been doing a lot of that lately, thinking.

I sighed, grabbing my laptop from underneath the bed and scrolling through my e-mails. I had one from Mum and one from my brother and Sister, they were both kept short.

Victoria and a few other of my friends had messaged me, hoping that I had been having a good holiday. I thought about that for a while, I guess it was bitter sweet. I met some amazing new friends but I had lost the one main person in my life. the person who knew all my secrets and my hopes but also knew my fears. I slowly went into the draw and took out the CD.

 I put it in and started to play it but kept pausing every few seconds, closing my eyes. I really didn't want to watch it or hear it. I guess I just wanted reassurance, as if this might have been a dream or more precisely a horrible nightmare but it wasn't. I took the CD out and pattered across to Serena's room, the light was off but the door was slightly open causing a stream of bright light to come through so I knew she was on her laptop.

"You should probably keep this, I mean as a copy and everything," I said coldly before walking back before she could even open her mouth to say anything.

I went back to my room and was so exhausted that as soon as I turned off the lamp, I was falling asleep...until I heard the door open and Serena turned the light on.

"Oh god," I grunted into the pillow, my eyes tightly shut as I pulled the covers even more tightly around me.

"I cant sleep, we need to talk," She stated.

I resisted the urge to say we already talked, now fuck off instead I said, "We can talk in the morning."

"How can you sleep?" She stated, accusingly. 

I looked up and said, "Shouldn't you be asking yourself that? You're the one who caused all of this,"  I said before putting my head back on my pillow and trying to drown out the sound of Serena apologizing.

"I forgive you," I said suddenly.

"You do?" She said shocked and the corners of her lips turning up.

"But that doesn't mean that we can be friends ever again, or how we used to anyway," I said, getting out of bed and heading downstairs, knowing she would follow.

"What do you mean? We can sort this out, it was only a bit of fun," Serena said, trying to justify herself, even she could tell that it was a lame excuse.

"You think using my secrets against me, and not to mention sleeping with my boyfriend behind my back, was what you call just a bit of fun?" I said, starting to raise my voice. "Great! Well you tell me the next time you want me to play a little bit of a joke on you," I continued. "I'm sure you'll love it."

Serena was quiet for a few seconds, "So what does this mean?" She asked finally, defeated.

"It means that I want to forgive you," I paused for a second, "And I want to forget you," I stated, before grabbing my leather jacket and walking out of the door. I stood leaning against the wood for a while tears streaming down my face and the memories coming back in flashbacks, my eyes finally landed on the chalk drawing.

I refused to stare at it for too long and didn't know where I was headed, until I decided to go to Connor's house to sort everything out with him. I didn't know how I was going to react but my voice was already hoarse from crying and shouting.