Took Me By Surprise [Zayn Malik] ✓

Chapter 33: Sorry, Your Plan Didn't Work

*Jenan*

   For the first time since I left England, I opened Zayn's Twitter account. He hasn't tweeted much; mostly a few replies to his fans, random tweets or quotes.

 @zaynmalik As you left and said your good-byes, you forgot to tell my heart how to live without you.

   That was the last tweet which was about one week ago. My eyes started burning and I quickly closed the website before I could start crying.
   "I'll go now, okay?" my father stuck his head into the room and I quickly blinked the tears away. I didn't want him to suspect something.
   "Okay." I smiled, stood up and gave him a hug. He grinned widely and 5 minutes later, I was alone in the flat.
   Disorganised.
   That was the new word that could describe me after coming back to Egypt. I felt empty and never knew what to do, especially since Ramadan ended. Now I couldn't just spend my time cooking, eating, praying and reading Quraan. I had to search for an activity, either for my mind or for my body.
   I was just thinking about solving a few Sudokus when Leesha called me on the landline. "Alsalamu Alaikum." I greeted her.
   "Wa Alaikum el Salam!" she greeted me back. "How are you?"
   How should I be? "Fine, thanks." I muttered. If I was Pinocchio, my nose would be already growing.
   "That's good!" she said. Something in her voice was strange. Usually she was more sensible about analysing my mood, she could always tell when I'm down. But now she sounded even sort of enthusiastic. "I wanna meet you, do you have time?"
   "Now?" I asked and threw a look at the clock.
   "Yes, in 15 minutes!"
   "Well, I think I should.. umm, do a little housework.." what a silly excuse! Of course she didn't fall for it.
   "Haha, very funny." She said sarcastically. "Go change your clothes NOW. We'll meet in the club. Just walk over to the playground. I'll be waiting in that big swing, okay?"
   I wanted to protest but she didn't give me a chance. She closed the line without saying one more thing. I sighed deeply and resignedly went to my room to put something on. I left the flat all in black and grey; just as my mood.
   The club wasn't far away from my home, that's why I went on foot with my handbag on my shoulder and my hands in the pocket of my sweater. I arrived there 7 minutes too late and walked over to the double-sided swing. I spotted a figure already sitting inside, with a black hoodie over the head. That surprised me. Why would Leesha pull the hood over her head?
   I entered the swing and mumbled "Hi." plonked myself onto the place in front of Leesha and bent down to pick a fragile branch of a tree I had notice on the swing up.
   "Hey, shorty." The figure muttered and made me freeze. I looked up, right into some very familiar eyes and a grin surrounded my dimples.
   "Oh my God, Harry!" the words were supposed to come out screaming, but they were nothing more than whispers. It took me a lot of self control not to fall into his arms and give him a tight hug. "What are you doing here?" I asked and blinked to avoid myself from crying.
   "Umm, just visiting my bestie, you know. I miss her." His eyes and his smile became softer and I felt love in me.
   "I miss you too." I stuttered and felt dizzy, seeing the images of all of the boys flying around in my mind.
   "Ah, I could see that." Harry now sounded a little bit bitter and I couldn't hold it against him. I never answered to his calls or replied to his messages.
   "I'm sorry." I said. "I had to get away a little."
   He nodded and scratched his head under the hood. "Yeah, I guessed something like that."
   "But tell me, how did you find me?" that point made me curious. I knew Leesha was involved but I didn't know how he could reach her.
   "It was simple." He shrugged. "I called Emily and she gave me Leesha's number. The rest was easy." I nodded and thought about how unwilling I was about going to the club. And now I was sitting in front of Harry Styles!
   "You should tweet that you're in Egypt." I said with a smile. "People will go crazy."
   Harry giggled and I chimed in. "I will, don't worry. As soon as I set off for England again. Zayn shouldn't know I'm here." My smile disappeared and was replaced by a hurtful look on my face. My heart seemed to shrink in pain.
   Zayn.
   "And that's why I'm here in the first place." He continued.
   Worry crept into my body.
   "What?" I asked terrified. "Is he not okay?" did he have an accident? Was he injured or ill?
   "Oh, he's okay." Harry quickly said and I let out a sigh of relief. "Somehow."
   "What should that mean?" I asked and leaned backwards, playing with the fabric of my clothes. My hands had to do something.
   "Since you left us, he has fallen into a dark hole." Harry's face has become very serious and fine lines were marked on his forehead. He leaned more towards me and placed his elbows on his knees. "He gets drunk almost every single day. Every two or three days he goes out with a new girl and he got a few more tattoos. He drinks to forget. He meets girls to find someone who could possibly replace you. And I think he got addicted to getting tattoos to feel the pain of the needles on his skin instead of his inner pain. It's like another form of self-harm."
   His words were heavy on my soul and I felt guilty for leaving him although I shared his feelings.
   "But what can I do? I'm powerless." I said to Harry.
   "You could come back!"
   For a moment, I really thought about it. Thought about packing my bags and flying across the sea to return to the boys and to look into Zayn's eyes.
   "Here's a recent picture of him." Harry interrupted my thoughts and showed me the display of his cellphone.
   He was sitting in the corner of the flat with a beer bottle in his right hand and 5 empty others around him. His left hand was tensed up and buried in his messed up hair. He had red eyes and wet cheeks. It took me a second to realise the reason to be tears. I couldn't bear to look at the image in front of my eyes, so I pushed Harry's phone away, jumped off the swing and ran away.
   "Jenna!" I heard him calling behind me. I didn't stop or care; I just kept walking ahead trying to get that image out of my mind and feeling the pain and guilt killing me. Soon he caught up with me and I stopped running as I reached one of the abandoned trees of the club. No one was in sight and I leaned against the trunk, burying my face into the palm of my hands.
   "I can't." I whispered.
   "What do you mean?" Harry asked me warily.
   "I can't come back. Not now." I wasn't ready and I knew that. Although Zayn's state hurt me more than anything else, I couldn't change anything yet.
   Harry sighed. I expected him to keep persuading me or something but instead he said: "Alright. I understand."
   And with that, he escorted me out of the club and took me to his hotel room. We spent the rest of the day together, and talking to Harry was like medicine for me. It had been a long time since I could talk freely with someone and I was more than glad Harry was here in Egypt.
   At the end of the day, he farewelled me, saying that his flight would set off soon. He didn't want Zayn to suspect something and that was why he took a lot of pictures with Egypt and me so that he could post them after Zayn finds out.