Chapter 1: Changing Directions

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  • Dedicated to You!
                                    


*Jenan*

   Why is it even called goodbye? What is good in saying farewell? Or is it just that every end should be a good one? Like, leaving someone in happiness without tears so they have something nice to think about while you're away? It's not like there was a bad-bye or a I'm-glad-I-finally-leave-bye for me. In my situation, it could be a I-don't-want-to-leave-but-I-have-to-bye.
   I shook my head, trying to get away from these strange thoughts. Philosophising about goodbyes.. I was definitely short of sleep.
   The mirror only confirmed me. My long brown hair was a total mess, my dark brown eyes were red and puffy, and my over-sized T-shirt was totally rumpled. Not to forget the bags under my eyes. Awesome!
   On my way to the bathroom, I started to analyse my situation for the almost 100th time:
   I've never been out of Egypt.
   I've never slept in another house than that of my parents.
   I've never spent four months in a row without my family and friends.
   But the way things are going, I'm spending the next 120 days apart from everything I've known and everything I'm used to. And (in my opinion) things are going into a completely wrong direction.
   Back in the bathroom, I chased away my disapproval of the situation and started practising Wudu. Leesha said it's called ablution, but we're not native English speakers and I find that word kind of .. unsuitable. Whatsoever, after finishing Wudu/ablution, I felt a lot better as I stepped out of the bathroom. I only had wished the water to be a little colder, but the water tank was situated on the roof of the building, which means it was under the effect of the burning sun sending its rays on it and warming the water up. That sucks in summer, but what can I do? I finished the thought and entered my room. The first thing you see are books. Loads of books. Beside the bed, in the shelves, on the desk and even a few second-hand books on the ground, tidily stacked. I hated it when my room was a mess, that's why I always preserved order. Sounds odd for a teenage-girl? Maybe. 
   As soon as I finished praying, I heard my mother bustling about the flat in her usual fussy manner. Sometimes I think she was glad about me leaving for the next months. And even a little hopeful. As if I was going to make a change in the world..
   Stop drifting away, and focus!, I told myself and stepped to the wardrobe. The outfit I was going to wear was preassigned since two weeks. I wasn't the type of people who liked to be surprised or unprepared. If you plan everything in advance, it will make life easier, you know.
   Carefully, I took the hanging rail out of the wardrobe and closed it behind me. Leesha had chosen the outfit with me, obviously. Long petrol blue blouse. Jeans. It's as simple as that. Before I could change clothes, I heard a slight knock on the door. No wonder, it was my mother.
   "Good morning, darling." She said to me and came over to give me a hug. "How are you?"
   "Morning, mama." I replied and felt her arms embracing me. "It's early in the morning, I'm going to go to the airport to fly across the sea, spend the rest of my summer vacation at an unknown place and I'm feeling freaked out as hell, but I guess I'm fine." A bitter undertone had crept into my voice and I started feeling sorry about it. I didn't want my mother to feel guilty.
   But she just smiled and kissed me on the forehead, saying: "You won't regret it." Is it just me, or was she talking in riddles? I looked up at her, right into her green eyes. Sometimes I couldn't believe we were really mother and daughter. She was tall, I was short (about 155 cm, can you believe that? That's around 5'1 inches, according to Google). She had green eyes, mine were plain brown. She was confident, I wasn't. But for that, I was more like my father; quiet, shy, thoughtful, orderly and not realising the emotions inside of me easily.
   "We will see." Was my reply to mama before she winked and left me to put on my clothes.
   By the time I was about to take the scarf out of the drawer, a text message found its way into my cellphone.

   Hey young traveller! Everything ready for the journey today? Of course it is, or your name wouldn't be Jenan, right? ;) Call me when you get to the airport Inshaallah, habibti. Moah <3   

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