Broken Photographs ~Raura~ COMPLETED

Entry 0.2

.Skip this part. (Not edited)

Schizophrenia:  Symptoms:

Cognitive: amnesia, belief that an ordinary event has special and personal meaning, belief that thoughts aren't one's own, delusion, disorientation, making things up, memory loss, mental confusion, slowness in activity and thought, thought disorder, or false belief of superiority.

Behavioral: aggression, agitation, compulsive behavior, excitability, hostility, hyperactivity, nonsense word repetition, repetitive movements, self-harm, social isolation, disorganized behavior, or lack of restraint.

Mood: anger, apathy, excitement, feeling detached from self, general discontent, inability to feel pleasure, elevated mood, or inappropriate emotional response.

Psychological: anxiety, depression, fear, hallucination, paranoia, persecutory delusion, religious delusion, hearing voices, or mistrust.

Speech: circumstantial speech, incoherent speech, rapid and frenzied speaking, or speech impairment.

Also common: fatigue, impaired motor coordination, or lack of emotional response

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Ross shakes, holding the gun, pointing it towards his heart. He cries. "God forgive me, God forgive me! God forgive me.." He cried, repeating it over and over again, sobbing hardly.

And the gun went off.

He felt his body shutting down, and his soul come out, and suddenly, his began to fall. He falls and falls. It was endless. A burning sensation comes right where his chest was, and screaming, as he continued falling. The burning was a feeling, that was unexplained.

Right there he knew, that he was in hell.

The screaming never stopped, the fire of hell burned his soul, and continued to fall and fall. Hearing people being tortured, and being burned. He looked around, and he could see the whole universe. But he could see heaven. The peace and love, wholeness, and the good. He was helpless. 

All he could do, was wish for people to not come here.

Suddenly, everything stops, and he could feel someone touching him. He rises up and looked around him. It was heaven. He couldn't do anything. He felt nothing. He could only see, and feel. But he felt himself being touched again, and he could suddenly hear, see, smell, and feel again. He was laying on the floor of his bedroom, nothing at hand. He sat up, and looked around.

He was speechless. What just happened?

Ross shoots up from bed, looking around. "What in the name of Jesus Christ...." He said, looking around. He cuddles his blanket. It was still night time. But now, he heard a voice. 

"Die."

"Just die please."

"Take that knife and just do it!"

He shaked in fear. Afraid to touch people, afraid to feel emotions, afraid to smell, afraid to sleep again,  afraid to love.

"Kill yourself. You'll be way happier."

"No one cares about you Ross. No one loves you." 

He heard the voices again. He shakes more. The whispering never stopped. "STOP!!! MAKE IT STOP!!!" Ross yelled, and falls off the bed, to the floor, crying. "Die." The voice kept whispering. He held his head. "PLEASE STOP!! NO!! STOP!!!" He gets up, and falls to the floor. He continued sobbing. "No.. please.. Stop..." Ross cries silently on the door. "I never want to be in love. I hate love. I hate it so much. I can't deal with life anymore. Why can't I just die already? Why can't god take me already? Who should I touch? Why should I feel? Why should I live? Why should I love? Why should I laugh?" He said.