Bitter & Sassy (Louis Tomlinson)

Chapter 6 ~ Talent & New Words

     I may utterly hate women and particularly these girls in the band Prodigy but believe me when I say they have talent. It’s beyond amazing, the way the play the instruments so easily, how their voices harmonise so perfectly. It’s like the guitars, bass and even the handmade drum set —I’ll never get over how Leanne just went picking boxes until she got the percussion she needed— are part of their bodies, another limb of theirs. Their voices match so perfectly I truly envy them. We’ve never reached that level and people say we were born to sing together, but these girls leave me speechless. And their songs are different, too. You expect a girl band to sing about love and breakups, you expect that from any band, to be honest, but they perform three songs and none of them is about that kind of love. They talk about struggle, they talk about being more than what you can and the other is about telling everyone that they can fuck off, you are who you want to be. All those songs are powerful and so full of meaning… they are exactly what these kids need to hear right now.

I kind of feel embarrassed to go now and sing about getting the girl after a partying all night. I feel like our songs have no meaning next to theirs. Niall is the only one who plays the guitar whilst we sing, meanwhile they made a drum set! How is that even possible?!

Still, as we sing One Thing, Little Things and a new song from our latest album, the kids enjoy our little performance. They don’t get as excited as when Prodigy was on stage and I honestly don’t blame them. We can do great things, we can blow minds… but next to them everyone looks like a bad joke. And these girls know that. Now I understand why Alex and Kay are fangirling right now. I’m sure that if Mila, Moni and Hannah were here they would be the same.

Like good competitors, the members of Prodigy congratulate us, but in their eyes you know that they know they are better. And they are. The fuckers. How can some people be so talented? I know Niall is really impressed, even more with Skyler —I think that’s her name—, the lead guitar because she blew his mind with her solos. So they start talking about guitars and Alex is next to them, fascinated as well. I notice that Skyler only comes to life when music is involved. Maybe she only lives for that, meanwhile I can see how the other three girls really enjoy the attention they are receiving.

I’m a bit away from them, not taking part in any conversation and I only look at them. The kids, my band mates, Grimmy, the camera guy and the girls from Prodigy talking, and having what it seems like a good time. Even Liam and Tammy are talking and they don’t look like they are fighting this time.

“Why are you so lonely over here?” a voice asks me, startling me at the same time that her arm loops around me, pulling me closer.

I look at her and I find her chocolate eyes on me, looking at me with curiosity and amusement. She always looks at me like that. But then I remember I saw her crying, I saw her different a few minutes ago and for a moment that memory makes me stay still instead of pushing her away for touching me.

“Are you trying not to fangirl?” she teases and only then I recover and realise that she is touching me, so I step back, making sure to get rid of her arm around mine.

“I’m not a girl,” I tell her between gritted teeth. She rolls her eyes and waves dismissively.

“You know what I mean. It sounds better to say fangirl than fanboy.” I don’t say anything, I just look at her expressionless and she sighs. “Anyways, are you okay? You look more serious than usual. I thought you were going to be playing with kids and stuff like that. They really need all the fun they can get.”

I frown, not because she thinks the kids need to have fun, that’s true; but because she thought I was going to be playing with them. “What makes you think I would play with them?” I ask. “You don’t know me.”