The days before we have to play our last gig from this part of the tour are quite awful to me, so I look for shelter at home. Mum doesn’t ask me anything, she doesn’t bug me, she gives me the space I need. She knows that I’ll talk to her when I’m ready to, but that’s not now yet. I’m still confused, I’m still trying to figure things out and fighting the memory of Kay in my mind.
Mum knows things are not okay with me, probably she understands better than any other why I’m feeling like this. She saw something similar when I was younger, when Dad left. I also felt like I wasn’t enough and that’s why he couldn’t stay with us, I also shut down for a long time and I couldn’t trust people, but so many things started to happen, I met people and started to do new things and without even noticing, I had moved on. I guess that’s why Mum knows I just need time, that eventually I’ll get over all this and maybe I’ll even stop hating on almost all the female population.
“How are you feeling today?” Mum asks walking slowly into my room with a tray with breakfast. Next to her is one of my sisters, Daisy, one of my youngest sisters.
“I’m better,” I answer as I sit straight on my bed. “Thanks for the breakfast, Mum,” I add and she smiles at me brightly.
“It’s my pleasure. It’s so weird when you visit us for more than a day that all I want is to pamper you all day!” I chuckle and cringe at the same time. Mum is overly affectionate today. “So, do you want to talk today?” she asks carefully while Daisy jumps next to my side and starts picking food from my plate.
I sigh heavily and take a sip of my tea. Just the way I like it, Mum makes it perfect. “I’m not sure what to say.”
Mum smiles and strokes my hair like she used to do it when I was a kid. “Who is she?” she asks and my eyes widen in shock. “Remember that you are my son, I know you since you were in my belly.”
“That sounds creepy, Mum,” I tell her and she chuckles ruffling my hair again. I sigh deeply. Could Mum help me to understand Kay? She is a woman, after all. “Her name is Kay, she is making the documentary for this DVD,” I start telling her not worrying that Daisy is there, she won’t go tell the papers. “She is— well, she is driving me crazy.”
Mum smiles though I don’t understand why. I’m not saying nice things! “You can’t stop thinking of her, can you?” she asks and I look down.
“I just don’t understand her. She says to Grimmy that I’m just a challenge, I’m her project. But then she tells me that she cares about me, too much. Why?”
“Well, maybe she does care, but she doesn’t want to accept it to others. People tend to do that, don’t they?” she says and I furrow my eyebrows, pondering. I think she is right… we have hard time accepting when we care about someone else. “Does she show you she cares?”
I have to think of all the things she’s done since I met her. How she always comes back to me, always teasing me, pushing my buttons, fighting my walls. She does not give up, no matter what I do, she is always fighting. Does that prove she cares?
“I… I dunno.” At my mind come the memories of her taking care of me when Mila kicked me in the balls, or when I got drunk and she took me to the hotel, and how she looked after me when I woke up. “I— I guess she does.”
Mum smiles again and kisses my cheek. “Maybe you should try to give her a chance to tell you why she cares. And what does she want from you?”
This is a tricky question. Does she want to help me? To make me fall in love with her? To make everything worse? To break my heart?
YOU ARE READING
Bitter & Sassy (Louis Tomlinson)
Fanfiction{book 4} - ❝ All women are the same. One day they say they love you, that they are gonna be with you forever; the next they meet someone else, someone who can be with them when they need it, someone who shares their world. And then they tell you “bu...
