Bitter & Sassy (Louis Tomlinson)

Chapter 33 ~ Moni & Spain

     I move back in my flat and although Eleanor doesn’t haunt me inside these walls, it’s still difficult because I can only think of Kay, of that day together. The things we did, how we enjoyed ourselves and I kind of miss her. A part of me wants to go back on tour just to see her but then what? She said she wouldn’t insist anymore and I guess that’s good because it won’t make it as hard for me to resist her, but that means that she won’t be as near as she would normally be.

I would really like if things were different. If I weren’t in an international boy band, if we didn’t have to be part of the world, it would be so much easier. I’d love if it were only the two of us. Even if I give in, I could never be at ease, I would always be jealous; I would always be expecting Kay to find someone else, or to get bored. For how long would it last? A week? A month? A day was the only time we could get just because during that day no one else mattered.

I could never be sure with Kay and no relationship can work like that. It’s just doomed.

So I spend the whole break thinking of her but trying not to think of her. I try not to miss her, but I fail. I fail miserably. I also avoid the guys because I’m trying to figure out what to do. It’s not like they look for me either. Harry and Hannah are very much into their own world. Niall went to see his family and Alex is with Belle and Phebs. Zayn and Mila disappeared together, as usual. Liam is with Tammy… I really don’t like that. I know she will break his heart and Liam is… well, he is very much in love with her. It’s obvious. But she is not a good girl. I don’t know what she is planning, what she wants out of all this, but I swear if she does something to him I will… I will… I don’t know, I just know I’ll make her suffer.

I don’t understand how Liam can be with her, yeah because they are very much together. What does he see in her? She is rude, she is obnoxious, she is mean, she is a bully… she is plain awful. Nothing like Liam! How can they be together? I don’t… I don’t get it. He is taking such a big risk here, she will do something horrible to him, and he probably knows that, and he is still with her. I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out that she is only using him. And still, how can Liam take such a risk? He is crazy.

And even though… despite he is risking his own heart here, he looks so disgustingly happy it’s annoying. Not even when he was with Danielle he looked this happy. It makes no sense to me.

And we’re at the airport, she is here, saying goodbye, hugging him tightly, telling him she is going to miss him. Ha! I don’t believe that for a second. Hannah is also there and Phebs, Belle, Savannah, Mila and even Moni. And yeah, it’s not comfortable with her there.

“So, dear Tommo… how are things going on with Kay?” she asks me looping her arm around mine and even though I try to shove her off, it doesn’t work. That woman is strong.

I can’t help it, I look in her direction and she is laughing at something Alex said next to Niall. I bet it’s embarrassing because the Irish boy is blushing pretty much. When I arrived to the airport she only said hi to me like she greets everyone else. No teasing, no cheeky smile, no anything. I know I shouldn’t be surprised, she told me she was going to leave me alone.

“Great. I finally got rid of her,” I tell her and I try to sound excited but I can’t, as much as I can’t quit looking at her.

“And you don’t sound excited. Seriously, you two are cute together. Why do you keep fighting her? And don’t come with the bullshit that you don’t like her because you do and if you try to lie to me, I’ll cut your balls,” Moni threats and I smile to myself. Moni, always so violent, always threating to cut our balls. She is not normal. How can Ed be with her? Isn’t he scared?