When I open my eyes, the headache kills me and my lids burn with the light of the room, but I forget about all that the moment I take notice of my surroundings. This is not my room, this is not my bed and certainly the naked body pressed against mine is not a teddy bear.
What the fuck?
I close my eyes tightly, not moving a single finger, hoping that by when I open my eyes again, I won’t be here, with her next to me. But she is still in my arms, I feel the warmth of her petite body, her breathing in my chest, her heartbeats at my side as her legs are tangled with mine. My arms are still around her and I don’t dare to move, fighting to remember what happened.
I remember meeting Rachel, then Kay leaving with Andy, then loads of alcohol and after that, things get a bit blurry, but I still remember Kay, I still remember kissing her, holding on to her and leaving with her, wanting her liked I’ve never wanted something before. I don’t remember how we got here but I do remember her pushing me against the wall in the lift and kissing me again, then we making our way into her flat, bumping into many things until we ended up in her room.
And the funny thing is… I remember clearly what happened here, in this very room… in this very bed.
Holy shit!
I just had sex with Kay… how did this happen? I wasn’t that drunk!
I start to hyperventilate, my eyes wide open now and I look at her, sleeping against my chest, cuddling next to me and I know she is so naked under the sheets, I feel her skin against mine. Her hair is falling loosely around her features, tingling in my own chest, just like her breathing, and her right arm is over my stomach, keeping me close to her.
She looks… she looks so beautiful that for a moment I hold my breath, until realisation hits me and panic raises inside of me.
“Please,” she says ever so softly, a mere whisper. “Don’t leave yet. I know what you’re thinking, I know what you want to do. Just don’t leave yet.”
And I thought she was sleeping.
“For five minutes forget everything. Forget what happened, what will happen and anything else. Forget everything and stay. Five minutes, that’s all I’m asking for.” Then she looks up at me, her warm chocolate eyes meeting mine as her hand rises to cup my face. “Just enjoy this moment for five minutes.”
I don’t know what to do, but her touch is soothing and somehow, it helps me to relax. My heartbeats slow down, my breathing evens and I don’t feel like running away anymore. And she notices that because she smiles at me, sweetly and adorably, then she moves until she can reach my lips and kisses me softly. I don’t know why, but I kiss her back. But this is not a rough kiss, I don’t feel that desperate hunger, yet I enjoy the kiss at the same level, the sweetness and tenderness of this encounter. And as her lips meet mine in a slow dance, I forget about everything and it’s not hard. Nothing else is in my mind but the taste of her lips.
Kay pulls back but she smiles at me before she cuddles in my chest again, hugging me tightly.
“I never like when they leave, even more when they don’t say anything and just disappear. When they make you believe you mean something to them then they are just gone. I know you’re gonna leave and pretend this never happened, but at least… say goodbye.”
I’m not sure why she is telling me these things, but I do understand one thing and that’s that she’s been with many others before me. But, apparently, those stories haven’t had a happy ending. Yet here she is, still trying with me despite everything that has happened to her.
YOU ARE READING
Bitter & Sassy (Louis Tomlinson)
Fanfiction{book 4} - ❝ All women are the same. One day they say they love you, that they are gonna be with you forever; the next they meet someone else, someone who can be with them when they need it, someone who shares their world. And then they tell you “bu...
