twenty two

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Zayn stuffed the silver envelope back into the red box and lay down in bed. She'd just finished rereading the letter from Lady Fairy and one sentence got her attention.

When you finally understand the female species and ONLY when you understand, I will return to you with another box similar to this one, except it will be royal blue. It will be then, that you may return to being Zayn Malik.

Many days she awakened and looked on her nightstand, wondering if that day was the day it'd come. If she'd wake up to see royal blue and be relieved from this reoccurring nightmare before it drove her crazy. And she couldn't dare count how many mornings she cried at the fear that she would end up staying like this until she died. There were too many.

But now as she lay in bed realizing she'd now been a woman for a year and one month, she wondered why. Why did she worry? Why did she spend so much time wanting not to be a woman anymore? Well, Zayn was scared. She was scared of being alone, of being forgotten by the people she knew and loved and she was scared that she'd have to figure everything out on her own. But she realized she didn't need to be afraid. She wasn't alone. And she shouldn't ever worry about having to be alone.

Whenever those days started that she stopped waking up and looking for a blue box, she couldn't even remember. She only knew that for some reason, she was starting to be a lot more comfortable with being the woman she was turned into. Being a woman wasn't bad and it wasn't as horrible as she originally thought.

So after thinking about that particular sentence in the letter from Lady Fairy, she wondered just how badly she wanted to be Zayn Malik again. Did she really? Did she really wish she could be Zayn again and miss out on all that she had. Maybe not so much after all. And maybe.... not even at all.

There was the sound of a clicking noise in her doorway and she sat up looking in that direction. There were a set of little eyes peeking around the corner near the ground. "What are you doing?"

The little two year old boy stood up and walked over to the bed, showing her what he was playing with. It was a little plastic car that wound up whenever it was pulled back and it would go forward on its own whenever it was let go. She remembered having a car like that when she was a little boy too.

"Ah, I see. It's a car."

He shoved it toward her with a smile.

"You don't want it anymore?"

"No." He grinned.

"So it's mine now?"

"No." He giggled.

"So, what do you want me to do with it?"

He grinned so cute and his cheeks turned red as he jumped up and down. Then without any indication, he went running out of the room.

"Theo, come back! Don't run!"

She got up and took the car with her. It didn't take long to find him in the guestroom with Teddy and he was showcasing his high pitch laugh. All Zayn could do was shake her head and put her hands on her hips. "You wanna come watch TV with me?"

He put his index finger to his mouth and pretended to think but she went ahead and answered for him. "Come on. Let's go watch TV until Harry gets here."

"Cartoon." He came over and took her hand and they went to the living room together. She had no idea what kind of shows he liked or what to even turn to in order to keep him occupied. But she settled on Thomas the Train and though she was bored out of her mind, she pulled him up on the couch next to her and they watched a couple episodes of it together. Just as the second episode was about to go off, there was the sound of keys in the door. She knew it was Harry using his key to come in. Theo and Teddy heard him too and they jumped up and ran to the front door.

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