Drawing of a Rose [Troyler AU]

Chapter 41: Swelled Head

Tyler.

I didn't want this week to end. I didn't want the weekend to come, as that would mean Monday is after it. Monday, the day Troye will move away.

The morning of Friday, I thought about the next few days. It's just unbelievable. He'd told me on the way home after the park about the plans that had been set. Troye was leaving. And he won't come back. I can't do anything about it. No one else knows. What am I going to tell them?

These thoughts raced around my head as I stepped in the shower. The warm water hit me, but I couldn't register it. The thoughts were building up. Piling on to each other until I couldn't think anything else.

It was a new but frustrating concept. I couldn't do anything. I was helpless.

I hit my fist against the wall. Luckily my mother had left work earlier, so she wouldn't hear me. I rested my head against it, letting the liquid flow down my back.

The beautiful boy with the ocean eyes and precious drawings and the Nutella coffee drinks. The one that called me late at night, asking for my help. Who went swimming with me even though he was self concious. Who spells his name with an 'e' at the end, telling every stranger he meets.

Who was leaving.

Why do I do this to myself? Why am I reminiscing, knowing it will just lead to tears and loathing at myself?

Sometimes I really hate myself.

The water went cold and my thoughts were still weighing my shoulders down, so I decided it was best to shut the water off.

After I got changed and looked at the time, I cursed. It was too late to catch the bus so I would have to drive. Yeah, driving let me be alone without all the kids shouting even though the person they were talking to was right next to them. But I would then be left with my thoughts. And today that wasn't a good idea.

Nevertheless, I made it to school without causing an accident. Music was my saviour. The bell had rung as I entered the grounds, no time for the usual chit chat.

I entered class, Troye thankfully didn't share the class with me. I knew I wouldn't know what to say if he was.

The whole period my mind was drifting in and out the classroom. One second I would be taking notes, next I would be wondering about Monday.

The bell went and I left the classroom barely remembering what was being taught. A few people said hi, but I couldn't remember who. Thoughts were swelling my head, filling all the space leaving no room for memories.

Second period was the same. I sat down, opened my book and let my mind drift.

This was bad. I've never had something consume my mind so much that I couldn't remember what I was doing or what I had done only a minute before. I needed to snap out of it, but I couldn't. I was panicking about the future, something I couldn't control until it was no longer the future and instead the presence.

The bell rang in the back of my mind, and I packed my things away, leaving the classroom.

I mean, I was obsessing over a boy I had only met a couple of months ago. I wanted to be his friend so bad, not just because he's cute. That's an added bonus. He seemed so sad and closed off to the world that I wanted to bring him out of it and show him the joys in life and that humans aren't that terrifying. That people will love you and they will be there for you. And when I am able to see his true colours, I learn that I won't be with him for much longer.

During all this thinking I made my way to the cafeteria. Today I had decided to bring a packed lunch, not bothering to wait in line. I sat at the table, beginning to munch on my sandwich.

Am I being selfish though? I can't be if I want to help a friend, especially with Troye's situation. But is it really a friendship if the foundation was pity? But I wasn't being pitiful I was being curious? Or am I just fooling myself into thinking that, putting myself into denial?

I heard someone say hi, mumbling it back.

Should I ask someone else's opinion? But then I would have to tell them his situation, and I don't think Troye would appreciate that. Then how could I help him? I can't just around doing nothi-

"Tyler. Tyler!" the same voice yelled, waking me out of my stupor.

I focus on the face of the voice and it is none other than Troye himself.

"You okay there? You've been zoning out since I've got here. What are you thinking about?" Troye asked, squinting at me.

"Uh, I've just been thinking about something my mum said this morning" I lied.

"What was it?" Troye inquired further. Damn his curiosity.

"Just something regarding my father" I responded. I knew he wouldn't question further as he knew how I didn't like talking about him.

"Oh, okay." End of conversation. Yet he still eyed me, doubt written on his face.

Recess ended, and my next two classes had Troye in them. It was a mental workout, trying to stay focused on what he was saying and not let my mind wander. Only twice did he have to get my mind back, but he never asked about it.

Lunch rolled around quickly. I was definitely more invested in the surrounding conversations than I was at recess. I heard someone mention the weekend and coming over, and a brilliant plan came to mind.

"Hey Troye, do you want to come over to my house on Saturday?" I asked. Say yes, say yes, say yes.

I waited for him to finish eating.

"Yeah, um, I can-" he answered but was interrupted by my English teacher calling my name. That wasn't a good sign.

"Okay, I'll text you when I'll pick you up, gotta go."

I grabbed my bag, quickly making my way to the teacher. The scowl on her face showed how much shit I was in. I gulled prepared for the lecture I was going to be in.

A/N
Hioo. Nother chapter. 1k+ words!

So announcement time!!
I've started another story, a Phan one (I'm trash) called "Darker than Black". It's a fantasy/supernatural one. The chapters are lengthy as well.

Yeah, now I've got two stories going, how am I going to update both. Well the Phan one I've already written a couple of chapters so that will be fine for a week.

I assure you I won't stop either stories, I'm too attached to both of them.

I don't have anything else to add, so I'll leave it at that.

Like and comment blah.
Imma go.
BYE!

Jam.