Drawing of a Rose [Troyler AU]

Chapter 48: Getting It Together

Troye

My breaths had began to grow heavier and louder, instantly triggering my mums concern.

"Hadn't anyone told you? Oh my gosh I'm so sorry!" She exclaimed, "calm down, breathe in and out. Slowly now, breathe in."

My breathing came back down to a normal state. The shock was still with me, but I could at least think rationally.

I stayed silent before speaking up. "Mum, I've killed two people." I stared at her as my vision became slightly blurred.

Her eyes widened. She opened her mouth then closed it. I waited. Suddenly, she shook her head vehemently.

"You did not kill them. You were not the one driving, you had no control of the situation. No one can know what is going to happen. No one can change it. This is just one of those situations." Her voice was level and calm.

Her words made sense, but there was still some doubt. It all started with me. I dragged everyone into this mess. I was the instigator. The cause of everything. I voiced my words.

"But I dragged him into this. He wouldn't be dead if I had never let him get involved."

"Who's he, sweetheart?"

"Tyler. He was the one we hit. He was my bestfriend mum. I loved him. He saved me, but I couldn't save him. What's wrong with me?" I wanted to cry, to let out everything inside me. All my tears had dried out though.

She huddled me up in her arms. She whispered in my ear, "it's not your fault" repeatedly and I just nodded my head.

-

I felt gross. My eyes were red and sore and I felt sticky and clammy. But I no longer was crying or shaking and my breaths no longer shuddered. I managed to flash a weak smile at Sage, looking up at me with large doe eyes.

When visiting hours were up, I stuttered out a small goodbye. My mum kissed me on the cheek before wrapping me tightly in a hug. Sage waved at me so I waved back.

I was exhausted, desperately wanting to go to sleep but a nurse came in with hospital food and it didn't look appetising. Despite my initial reluctunce though, the nurse stayed to make sure I ate it all.

Finally, I managed to be alone and finally get some rest.

By the time my head hit the pillow I was already asleep.

-

I was a mess for the next few days. The next day, my friends visited while mum was there. Everyone talked, with muted tones and sad smiles, and I was just glad that I had people around me, reminding me I was alive.

The small talk carried on, like the continuous cycle of tides changing from topic to pointless topic. My mouth was beginning to dry. I was starting to feel tired. Fed up. Done.

I didn't know who said it, the pitches of voices had melted into a flat harmony. I snapped. All I heard was someone mention Tyler and I yelled.

"Who cares about Tyler? He's gone and he isn't coming back!" The room went silent. I dropped my head, ashamed and embarrassed but also angry for no goddamn reason.

My mum spoke first. Then the door creaked open and shut. I felt my mum's arms wrap around me. "It's okay to let your feelings out" was what she whispered. She hugged me as I talked. I babbled and mumbled and halfway through even I didn't know what I was saying.

Yet, my shoulders stood a little higher and my head no longer felt heavy on my neck.

-

It was two weeks after the crash when I got let out of the hospital. It was a relief. No more hospital food, no more having nurses come in to interrupt my sleep, no more reminders of anything that I didn't want to remember.

School only had one week till the holidays, so I didn't bother going back. Instead I stayed with my mum and her new family. Her husband was welcoming and understanding when I arrived and I nearly cried again.

A few days into the holidays I visited Tyler's mum. It was heartwrenching, giving her a bouquet and watching her just trying to keep it together. Knowing I was leaving her alone with not much family support made me guilty but I didn't know what else to do.

Messages filled my phone. They were often of little snippets of what I had missed and what was happening between everyone. It was nice but almost unsettling the way Tyler was never mentioned. I understood that it was to ease my pain, especially the way I exploded at the hospital. But I still felt lonely.

Halfway during the holidays, we had to settle who was going to be legal guardian. Since my mum was my biological mum, she was the first choice.She was granted custody of me finally, after all this time.

We went out for sushi after.

Two days after that, we got a call from Jackie. It was the date for Tyler's funeral.

A/N
Boooom new chapter.

Rn im sick in bed so *cough*
But I got Mystic Messenger and okay at first I laughed but now im just waiting for the next chat room and ugh. It also takes 1.5gb of space so wow.

Lets hope with next chapter I can get it done quicker and not let you suffer.

After this story is done im probably going to write more on ao3 rather than wattpad. I might publish on both as well... and they'll be Haikyuu so ya.

Anyway thats all.
BYE!!!.
Jam.