Black velvet

Chapter 62

ZAYN'S POV

I didn't take long to walk up the stairs and join her in my room. She needs her time to think and I probably shoul've thought twice of what I did, but I don't know what happened so I don't know what to think or say about it. I need to talk to Olivia.

Her curvy small frame is sitting on the bed, her back against the wall. She watches me walk in but I can tell she's not looking, her mind's elsewhere.

"If I had anywhere else to go, I would have left," she mutters, her eyes fixed behind me now.

"I know..." I do know.

A sigh leaves my mouth as I join her on the bed. I don't sit with her though, I know she won't like that. I'm at the end of the bed, my head in my hands and my mind searching for something to say.

"I don't know why I answered that call," I try to explain.

My back's to her, I feel this way will be easier for both of us to talk. Or maybe just me, her eyes make me feel vulnerable. I don't need vulnerability.

"I honestly thought you'd stopped whatever was going on with her," she says in a whisper.

"Yes, yes, I have!" I exclaim standing up to see her. "She rang, but that had nothing to do with me," I tell her, my voice growing louder.

Her eyes go back to my face, she's studying me. She wants to see if I'm lying, I can tell.

"I apologise for answering that," I shake my head. "Or attempting, I don't know why I did that," this is so frustrating. "I haven't heard from her since we spoke about trying us, I promise Olivia," I keep saying, my whole body tensing.

"She works for you," she says bluntly.

She does...

Olivia shakes her head and pushes her hair back. "Why did you answer if you haven't heard from her?"

"I-" I really don't know what to say. 'I don't know' doesn't seem like an answer to fix this.

"You didn't just answer the call Zayn, you were fucking smiling while you did, like you were desperate for it," she adds not waiting for my answer.

I'm so blocked. There's too many emotions trying to erupt in me.

I walk back to the bedroom door to walk off, but then question myself about it. I don't want to leave. I didn't do anything. I have no fucking idea what went on my brain, that wasn't me answering.

Sandra means nothing to me. She didn't even mean anything when I was thrusting into her. Nothing. I'd never even give her the time of the day if Olivia's in the picture. I don't know why I did that.

That wasn't me.

"You're going to go?! Is that it?" Olivia shouts from the bed.

I can hear her footsteps, but I don't want to turn around.

"Say something Zayn! Explain whatever the fuck you were thinking about!" She screams at me, she's close now. "Did you mean it?!"

"Of course I fucking didn't Olivia!" I turn around and before I realise I'm towering over her.

She takes a step back and I hold my head between my hands.

My brain won't function. I'm so furious she won't trust me, but I can't blame her because I know how it looks. I'm not used to explaining, people usually stick to what I say and that's it. No effort to make people feel different about me.

"I don't know what happened, I don't know why I answered that call, I wasn't thinking, I just-" I growl interrupting myself babbling.

I cover my eyes trying to forget everything about what's happening before I loose my mind. Alcohol should help.