WRONG // (Harry Styles)

t e n

Chapter 11

Claire's point of view

"Can i get you anything?" he says, walking to the kitchen.

"Um, a glass of water?" I follow him and sit down on the barstool across from the kitchen island. He immediately heads for the cabinets that are placed on the wall over the kitchen counter, taking a glass out and filling it up with water and ice.

"Thank you," i say as he hands me it. He goes straight to the fridge and starts digging through it.

He brings out a few vegetables it looks like and a piece of chicken and lays it down in front of him and turns on the stove. He's going to cook for me. To be honest, when he told me we were heading to his place i was worried that we wouldn't eat. Its only two o'clock and i'm already drained of energy.
He starts chopping up the different ingredients.

"Do you want some help?" i ask, feeling guilty for just watching him.

"That's alright, i like cooking" he says, putting various greens into a pan, with some olive oil and strips of chicken as well. The smell of the frying ingredients fills the room, and I enjoy it while looking at him. He's so concentrated. He puts pasta into boiling water and I get more and more excited to eat what seems to be some spaghetti dish.

"Can i ask you something?" he asks, looking up at me as he continues to prepare the food.

"Yes," i say, wondering what his question is.

"Louis told me about when your panic attacks started," he says, tossing and turning the pan with his strong arms, covered with the tattoos I know little about.

"They started once he left after X factor?" he says, and I immediately feel uneasy from his stare, expecting me to answer. I feel so uncomfortable whenever I think about it. I don't want it to be true, but it is. After Louis left, my parents started fighting daily, and I had no one to talk to about it. I had to hold it all inside, and I guess thats what started the attacks, the first one came a month after his audition. I look at Harry and nod, trying not to loose my mask. I don't want anyone to worry about it.

"Do you blame Louis for it?" he furrows his eyebrows. Do I blame him for what? For my anxiety disorder?

"No, i don't," I say and i realize why he asked.

"Does Louis think so?" I ask, imagining Louis having guilt all these years for my own problems. Harry doesn't say anything, he looks at me and puts a lid on top of the pan. Louis thinks it's his fault? He can't think that.

"I have to talk to him," I say and hop off the barstool before Harry stops me.

"No, stop. Last we saw him he was sleeping on the couch. After the day he's had, he deserves some rest," his hands are tightly wrapped around my arms, and I feel his strength before he lets me go.

We walk to the dining room with the food, and we start eating.

"Can i ask you something?" I say, looking shyly at him as he's eating. He nods slightly, his green eyes beaming from the sunlight.

"How many people have signed that contract?" I say and tilt my head down, embarrassed to be asking this question. He seems to study my expression before answering.

"9" he says bluntly, like he knew I was gonna ask him that. 9 women have signed it, been with him like i have. I'm number 10.

"I don't get it," I say, putting my fork down on the table.

"You don't get what?"

"Why do you make people sign that thing? I mean Louis doesn't make his girlfriends sign a confidentiality contract?" my voice raises, and I bite my lip to stop myself. Theres a long, filled silence in the room as he raises his eyebrows at me.

"I like being in... control," his words sends a shiver down my body. His stern eyes shoots at mine, and his lips purse as I try to figure what that means.

"But.. How? What do you want me to do?" I'm scared of the answer, but I have to know. A silence fills the air before he furrows his eyebrows and answers.

"I want you to give yourself to me... completely,"

•
•
•

It's 1 am, and i'm in my room, resting after a long day with the drama of rushing back to the house, and lying to Louis about having a panic attack. My karma is about ruined after these 24 hours.

When we got home from lunch, Louis was still sleeping on the couch, and we've done nothing but chill around at the house all day. We had dinner three hours ago, and i'm curled into a ball under the duvet, trying to forget todays events.

Finding out about what Louis said to Harry about feeling guilty for my anxiety, has haunted me all day. There were times today around the house where I wanted to ask him about it, but it just didn't seem right. And he didn't look that sad, just kind of tired. He could just be hiding it though, I have a lot of experience in that area. And if he's really felt guilty about it ever since he moved, he has had to live with that for over 5 years. I try to distract my thoughts when I feel a wave of guilt, realizing that i've caused that.

The bed feels cold, and all i can think of is last night, with Harry's hands all over me, and when i fell asleep on his bed. An urge for getting out of bed and into his grows in me, and after a while of tossing and turning, I get out of bed. We haven't had a proper conversation since lunch, it was pretty quiet after we discussed Louis and the room.

I haven't decided if I want to be a part of this. Me being the 10th girl to be his secret girlfriend. I haven't even had sex before, and he wants me to completely give myself to him? Harry is the one person i've ever been interested in, and he has an obsession with being in control. Oh, but the way he said it... "I want you to give yourself to me completely" it made me want to jump at the opportunity. He offered me to give myself to him. Most girls would say yes in a heartbeat, but i'm not quite sure...

I walk into the bathroom to freshen up, and end up sitting on the counter for 10 minutes looking at myself in the mirror. But i'm not focusing on myself, i'm just thinking and processing the things we talked about and how i'm supposed to get rid of the gut wrenching guilt that strikes me whenever I'm with Harry..

After I walk out, I try not to make any noise as i sneak to the Harrys door and slowly turn the handle to walk in. The room is pitch black, and i cant make out where the bed is. I walk aimlessly forward, and I feel the wood against my thigh and I stop and feel my way to side of the bed. I lift the duvet up to get under it and I run my hands across the bed expecting to feel his strong body at my fingertips. But as I almost reach the other end of the bed, I realize I wont.

He's not here.

A/N: Hello. It's me. I've been wondering IF YOU LIKED THIS CHAPTER:) ugh i hate myself

ANYWAYS YEAH ANOTHER CHAPTER FOR YA AND IF YOU FIND ANY MISTAKES LET ME KNOW AIGHT?

Vote, comment and dont stop reading, hold on to that feelin' seriously what am i doing

BYE :*