You get too close (Dean)

Chapter 58

Guys oh my goodness I listened to made in the am and honestly....HONESTLY.

I'M WORDLESS. IT WAS THE BEST THING EVER. Hey angel and Infinity...FIRE! THIS WHOLE ALBUM IS LIT! THEY SOUND SO DIFFERENT AND MATURE AND...GOD. AND I ALSO LISTENED TO LITTLE MIX'S ALBUM GET WEIRD....I WAS JAMMING TO EVERY SONG. Sorry, On with the story.

// Sadie //

I sigh as a I lay on my belly with my head buried inside my pillow. For whatever reason,This seems to be my thinking position. And boy do I have a lot of thinking to do.

I can't seem to get Janna out of my head. She's pretty hot and a lot of fun and that's just what I need in my life. She's kind of a wild card and definitely different than what I'm used to. She's attracted to me and honestly I'm attracted her too. I should really give her a chance.

Then there's Dean. My boyfriend. My boyfriend that I am supposed to be fully committed to. He's made it quite clear to me that I mean a lot to him and that he's willing to be totally and completely faithful to me. I feel bad for not being 100% invested in this relationship like he is. Then again,this is the same man that cheated on me just a few weeks ago with his ex girlfriend who I'm still not sure he's over.

Even though I know how wrong it is,I can't get the nagging thought out of my head that this is my chance.

I'm not one for revenge, I suppose. I guess it's safe to say that I steer clear of it most times. But for some reason, I feel like I should take advantage of this situation. I could sleep with Janna once again and I could make him pay for what he did. He hurt me. Bad. And I know it's petty,But I think I should get to do the same to him.

When he cheated on me,it felt like my heart was ripped out,stomped on and shredded to pieces. I have the perfect chance to make him feel the same way.

But is that really worth it? I know how that feels and well...it doesn't feel great. I don't want him to feel that...I guess...

Plus, it'd be an insult to Janna. I'd be using her to make myself feel good and that is just low. That'd be a real bitch move and I just can't do it.

Staying away from her is the most logical option. She's a new diva so we'll be working together a bit but I'm sure we can keep it professional. Aside from that,we can just stay away from each other.

This would not even be a question if what happened between Dean and Renee didn't happen. I'd be perfectly fine with being in a committed relationship with him if I wasn't so damn scared of getting hurt again. I know he's trying to make things better and get things back to normal, but I just can't fully trust him right now. I guess I'll have to work on that...in the meantime, I think I should be wrapping the gifts I got him while he and Aymie were out spending time together...before I went to talk to Janna.

Nope, no thinking about her. Presents. They need to be wrapped by tomorrow because that is when his birthday is and he is the only thing that matters right now...

******

\\ Aymie //

I smile to myself as I rub at my tummy. Although this is a huge scare for me and I am a bit worried about how things will go, a small part of me is super excited. Being a mom...well I've never even considered it, but now that it's happening I kind of like the idea.

But what if the kid comes out and immediately hates me? Me and kids have never gotten along. Most of them are snot nosed, snagged toothed, booger eating brats with no manners and no taste in fashion...needless to say I've never particularly enjoyed kids. They make me nervous.

But my own kid will be different right? Even if it comes out looking like a rat-and yes I know it will because they all do- I'll love it. Right?

But what if I don't? What if I'm a terrible mother and a terrible person in general and what if I don't like my own child? Then what?

One things for sure. I need to get my shit together.

No more partying, no more drinking, no drugs, no recklessness. I'll worry about what happens when the baby comes out when...well when the baby comes out. But right now, my first job as a mother is to protect my child while it's still in my stomach. I'll protect it with my life.

I'm so lucky to have Blake with me too. He was,Obviously, the first person I told about my pregnancy and he was so supportive about the whole Hong which made me feel so much better. I know he'll be an amazing dad. He's sweet,patient and everything I could ever want in a guy. If there's one thing in my life I'm proud of having, it's him. He helps me out a lot and he's always trying his best to talk me out of doing stupid things. He's a great influence on me honestly. I appreciate him so much. I honestly see myself settling down with him, which is weird coming from me because I never really thought of settling down before.

"Come in!" I yell, Hearing someone knocking on my door. After a minute, I see Dean standing in my doorway, Smiling. "Hi." He says.

I raise my brows at him. "Hi...Didn't I just see you?" I laugh. He nods. "Sorry I just wanted to check on you and make sure you're alright. Plus, I wanted to see when you plan on telling Sadie." He says. I sigh. "After your birthday, Definitely." It's not the greatest idea to tell her right now. She needs to worry about Dean and only Dean. Tomorrow is his day and I don't want her to spend it worrying about me. "I'm just really scared to tell her." I mumble.

"Why? You know she'll be supportive. I don't think she'll be disappointed in you. She'll be happy for you. She'll understand." Dean says, Coming to sit next to me on my bed. I sigh. "Yeah but you know she can't have a baby and I just feel so bad even though I know I shouldn't. It's like-"

"What?" He cuts me off. "What do you mean she can't have a baby?" He asks.

"Wha...Who said that?" I squeak.

"You just did. Why can't she have a baby? Why didn't she tell me?" He asks.

"Oh god." I mutter. "I thought she did which is why I just said that...Damn it. I'm sorry."

"It's okay but why can't she have a baby?" He asks.

"Well...I think that that's something she'll have to tell you." I mumble.

"Yeah...I'm gonna go talk to her right now." He says before walking out quickly. I sigh and roll my eyes. I am so stupid sometimes.

A/N: I am really enjoying throwing all these curve balls at you guys lol. Can you guys believe Aymie is pregnant? What do you think Sadie should do?