All Grown Up now

Chapter 31

Baby girl's POV

Breyana found herself trying to keep her distance from Jayden and I leaving us alone, but staying in eye sight. As I looked at a painting that caught my eye, Jayden stood beside me with something obviously bothering him.

"Spill it," I said not taking my eyes off of the painting. "Did you mean what you said about not loving anyone and never going to?" He asked looking at the picture then me.

"I don't know, ....if I will love in the future but I hope not. But yes, ...I mean it when I say I don't love anyone." I said before looking away from the painting and up at Jayden. "I believe what Breyana said in the car, and the fact that you don't know if you will love in the future gives me hope. Mainly because that I don't know can turn into anything, it's not a no. Meaning I have the chance to change that." He said looking down at me.

"Why would you want to? And please don't say because you care." I said looking up at him. "Because I want to be with you,...even if you do make it hard by pushing me away." He said looking me in the eyes.

I stared into his eyes trying to find something that points to him lying, but I couldn't find anything so I looked away. "You said you wanted to know more about me last night, let's start off with the basics." I said sitting on the nearest bench.

He came and sat beside me. I looked at him as he looked at me. I am waiting for his question, and I'm guessing he thought I was going to start talking. But I won't tell what doesn't need to be told, I'll tell him what he asks.

"What's your favorite color?" He asked making me smile. "Gold, what about you? What's your favorite color?" I asked looking at him.

"Blue, what's your favorite food?" He asked. "Pizza and chicken, you?" I asked making him smile. "Steak and pizza, what's your favorite snack?"

"Om...I don't have one, I just eat what I feel like eating. But my favorite fruits are mangos, cantaloupe, grapes, and pineapples." I said laughing a little. "Wow, om my favorite snack has to be candy. Om I stick to the normal everyday fruit like apples, oranges, and grapes." He said laughing as I playfully pushed him.

"But it's fine that you like things that aren't for the everyday people, it makes you different. I like different, I need different." He said smiling. "Well is that all? I don't think there's anything left to know that's basic knowledge." I said looking at him.

"I just have one more question, ...what's your name? Your real name." He asked making my smile fall. "It's a name with letters, real letters." I said not wanting to tell him. There's only one person who knows my name and is alive, and that's Breyana. And she only knows my nickname to my real name. But she's forbidden to say it.

"Are there fake letters or something? You said real letters like there's fake letters." He said laughing, I just smiled and rolled my eyes. "There could be, I don't know." I said crossing my arms.

"If you could, would you kiss me again?" He asked making my smile fall. I looked at him, then into his eyes before looking down. "Om.... I honestly don't know." I said looking up at him now.

He didn't say anything, and I did the unthinkable. I told him the truth, without him asking. "You want to know a secret?" I asked looking at him. His head snapped up as he looked into my eyes. "Yea, sure." He said curiously.

"Don't tell anyone," I said as he raised his hands in surrender. "Well you know already that I barely let anyone get close to me, especially men or boys. So your the first guy I let get this close to me personally, physically, mentally, and emotionally.

In other words, that you'll understand, you are the first guy I let kiss me so your the first guy to kiss me and that was my first kiss." I said looking down not wanting to see his reaction.

He lifted my head so that I was looking at him. "I like that, don't be ashamed of it. That just means you have morals and high standards. You have more respect for yourself than any female I've ever been with or seen, and I have more respect for you than them. I hope I can be your only, your first and last." He said staring into my eyes.

"You're becoming a problem, a huge problem. You're making think what if more everyday...since yesterday." I said laughing before getting serious. "But really, you make me think what if things were different. You're making think what if I start to love you in the future. Hypothetically speaking, that is starting to scare the shit out of my real name with real letters, me." I said looking into his eyes.

"I don't think you don't love because you don't want to and because you know what can happen. I really...strongly believe you don't love or let anyone near because you're afraid to. You've probably seen what can happen to people who love, and you're afraid to be in their shoes and afraid of being hurt.

But to tell you the truth, the only reason you could end up heartbroken and hurt so bad that everyone sees how cruel the person you love is and how they did this or that and left you lonely, is if you love someone who doesn't love you back.

My liking towards you is growing stronger everyday, and sooner or later that liking is going to turn into love. And I hope, I really hope that I won't be the only who is loving between us. I really do hope that you'll love me back, I'm sounding like a little bitch right now. But it's all worth it for you." He said staring into my eyes.

I smiled, I put my hand on the side of his face. "And you're making me go soft. I've never been this open to a guy, and I've never felt this way about a guy. No one has ever asked me about my feelings, but you do. No one has ever said that they care for me out their mouth that I know of, except you." I said staring into his eyes.

"I think you like me, but you never liked anyone before to know what it feels like someone. So you don't know you like me, or you're afraid of liking me." He said smiling. "I don't knoooow..." I said before laughing.

"Okay how do you feel when I'm around?" He asked, but I never got to answer because Breyana came. "Can we go? I'm hungry." She said looking at us.

"Ard, let's go." Jayden said standing up as I did the same. We all walker back to Jayden's car then getting in before he pulled off.