Just like me: phan

Just like me: phan pt16

*dans pov*
I stayed in the cupboard long after the bell rang, I heard the guys leave, but there was no guarantee that they were headed to class, they were probably just thinking out their next move, I knew that all too well, whenever Phil hid from us we'd never really go away, we'd always be there, somewhere, waiting. I pictured Phil in his room, lying on his bed, lonely, his blue eyes filled with sadness, I needed to help him, but I couldn't, I punched the wall out of anger, my heart pounded inside of me, I just wanted Phil, I buried my face in my hands again, playing over last night in my head, it felt strange that all of this started with last night, I thought, those two days had felt like a year. I heard footsteps coming.
'Dan' a hushed voice came from the other side of the door, startling me. 'Hey Dan' he knocked lightly on the door.
'Yeah what?! who is it? how do you know I'm in here?!' I yelled angrily.
'Dan, Dan shh, I'm not supposed to be here' the voice said calming me down.
'Who is it?' I groaned, not wanting to fight anymore.
'Its Matt' the voice confessed.
I gasped, what the hell was he doing there?
'Listen' he paused. 'The boys are going to that gu-...Phil's house after school' he sighed.
'No.' I whimpered, and started crying again.
'Dan, I'm sorry' he had regret in his voice. 'I shouldn't have told them,
My sobs filled the small closet, they were loud, I didn't care who heard them.
'Why are you even telling me this?!' I screamed. 'Shouldn't you be with...them?'
He hesitated. 'We used to be really great friends, I care about you Dan, and you and that guy looked really happy last night'
'Why did you tell them then?' I spat.
He shuffled his feet and lent against the door. I could almost see him shove his hands in his pockets, it was a nervous habit if his, he's done it since I've known him. 'They made me' he croaked. 'They knew I had something to say, my face gave it away!'
I remained silent, thoughts filled my head, it was spinning in circles I felt nauseous, I small smile appeared on my face, knowing I had one of my better friends back on my side, but that smile soon disappeared as I imagined James and the group breaking to Phil's house and beating the already helpless boy, I clenched my fists and flung open the door. I saw Matt, his head pressed against a wall, leaning in to it, hiding his face.
'Matt?' I tapped his shoulder, he turned to look at me, it was only then when I realised he was crying.
'They made me! They make me do everything!' he yelled, obviously not caring who heard him. 'We used to be such good friends, I miss talking to you properly, without being an asshole'
'Matt, how did they make you?' I say slightly confused, I mean, they made me too, but I never really knew they did that to anyone besides me.
Matt pulled up his sleeve to reveal bruises, dark ones, similar to the ones on Phil's face, scattered all around his arm.
I gasped in horror.
'Go help Phil, okay?' He murmured. 'You and him, go somewhere safe'
I was shocked, this was probably the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.
'What about my parents?' I asked.
'Ill tell your teachers that you went home sick, so they won't call them' He assured.
I smiled. 'Thanks'
'No problems, sorry for everything' he sighed.
'Dude' I put my hand on his shoulder. 'No, stop, it's not your fault, I did it all too' I grimaced remembering Phil. 'What are you going to do?' I asked.
'Im going to try and keep them away from Phils house...I don't know him, but I owe a lot of apologies to that guy, and he means a hell of a lot to you apparently' he smiled.
'Thanks, just try not to get hurt' I said gratefully, feeling slightly safer.
He shrugged.
'tell Phil I said sorry okay?'
I nodded, gave him a friendly hug, something we hadn't had in a long time. And began running down the hall. I passed classrooms filled with students, and came to me locker, I took out my bag and some money to maybe buy something from the vending machines, as I still felt awful. I probably should text Phil, I thought to myself, but decided against it as there was really no point because I was already on my way, and would be with him soon.
*phils pov*
I held the box in my hands, my knee ached so much, I leant against the shower glass to support myself, even though I knew that didn't deserve the pain relief. I put the box on the corner on the sink, and flicked it open, revealing blades of all different shapes and sizes, I pushed up from my leaning position to look in the mirror. I looked disgusting, pale and awful. Dan probably wasn't even coming back, he was probably with his friends again, he probably just lied to me so I wouldn't cry, and here I am, crying, I thought to myself. The bruises on my face were darker than yesterday, and the cut on my lip had turned in to a scab, no boy would ever really like me. My knee caved underneath me and I fell to ground letting out a small whimper, it didn't hurt too much, because in that moment I was numb, I began to cry even more though, because of how hopeless I was, because I ruin everything. I reached up to the box and grabbed a small blade, then sat myself up against the shower and rolled my sleeve up, revealing the cuts from many times before. I let out a deep breath and held it to my arm, I paused, letting the moment process before I did anything, I wanted to feel it.