Just like me: phan

Just like me: phan pt71

*phils pov*

'Forever?'

He didn't answer. I guess I was expecting that, but in the back of my head I was willing for...wishing for, a yes. Because sometimes all I ever think hear is 'no'. No you can't be happy, no you can't stay in town, no you can't have him. And sometimes it seems like it's not worth it, why should I keep going if all people do is try to stop me, well, I couldn't go, because I needed Dan to know I was still there for him, and I couldn't go because I didn't really want to after he entered my life.

We had just gotten off the Ferris wheel. It was now very dark now, the sky, a deep navy blue. Dan held me close, warming me up as we walked back to the car.

'You're fingers are freezing!' Dan exclaimed. 

'I kn-n-now' I shivered. 

'Oh god, don't worry we're almost at the car, it'll be warm in there, okay?' Dan picked up our speed slightly, though he made sure I was able to keep up without hurting my knee. 

As we walked I looked around at the lights and smiles of people, taking it all in. Because I knew, later on, this would all be a memory, a happy place I could go to when things weren't so amazing.

We crossed the road, Dan ushered me around people and cars, being wary of my knee and its current stiffness due to the cold.

When we got to the car Dan helped me into the passenger's seat, before walking around the back of the car to get something out. He came back with one of the fluffy blankets and wrapped it around me.

'Here' He smiled. 'Just don't go to sleep yet' 

You could see the joy Dan got by taking care of me, it made him feel good inside, like he was doing something that would make me happy for once. I knew the thought of him beating me still haunted him, I knew he still felt the guilt, but I don't think I could say anything that would take that away...Just like how Dan couldn't say anything to take those memories away. We had to live through them, we just couldn't linger on them for too long.

I was getting sleepy. The car heater made the windows of the car go foggy and the world outside became a blur. We only drove for a tiny bit before we got to where Dan wanted to go.

'Hold on' Dan whispered. 'This bit's important'

He sounded like he was talking about a movie, and we were coming up to the best part.

He rolled down the windows as we entered the road which lead through the forest.

'Look' He grinned, 

And I did. It was like we had entered another dimension, and I guess that's what he was aiming for. We were surrounded by trees, they completely cloaked us. No one else was on the road and there wasn't a street light for miles. It was like we were alone in the universe, surrounded by nothing. And I loved it

Dan didn't slow down, but he turned up the radio. I didn't know what song was playing, but for some reason it fit so perfectly. 

The cold air blew against my face, and I smiled against it. The speed we going at was probably dangerous, but we had nothing to lose. 

We didn't acknowledge each other for while, our heads staring out opposite sides of the car, but we knew the other was there. We were alone together. We were together but apart, maybe this is what it'd feel like without Dan there all the time...maybe I had my hopes up too far.

I wasn't sure where we were headed after this, I wasn't going to ask, I wanted it to be surprise.

'Hey' Dan giggled.

I looked over to him, his hair was splayed out across his face. cutie. 

'Wanna go faster?' He winked.

'Yes!'

He hit the pedal with his right foot, and we shot forward.

I stuck my head and arms out the window, taking in a large breath.

'WOOOOOOO' Dan yelled out the other window, before collapsing into his seat and laughing.

I didn't think I'd feel so at peace, speeding down an unknown road with you.

I laughed and looked over at him, we were being reckless, we were being ourselves. I took the blanket off my shoulders and threw it into the back seat, just so I could feel the wind go right through me. I'd never felt more alive.

'The place we're going next is ri-

'No-no!' I interrupted.

Dan cocked his head to one side.

'Suprise me' I winked.

He laughed, tilting his up to the roof of the car and shutting his eyes.

And with the music blasting and the cold air blowing through my bones, and with the person I loved by my side. I discovered I didn't need forever, because this, was better.