Just like me: phan

Just like me: phan pt88

*Phils pov*

He tasted like tears, and torture: tears because he had been crying obviously, sometimes I wondered if he'd ever stop, and torture because humans shouldn't be able to make your heart hurt that. We had been standing in my driveway for a while. We were kissing, but it wasn't relaxed, it was hurried, like we needed to get this in before it all ended for a while. I felt Dan's hands tremble around my hips, and his heart thump against my chest, he wasn't okay. I just wanted to hold him tight and tell him everything would be alright, that everything would work out, because he'd done the same for me many times before.

We had a few hours left and I already had a bit of an idea of what I wanted to do, and hopefully it would make Dan feel better.

'It's pretty cold out here, we should go back in' I announced, allowing Dan to rest his head in the crook of my neck as I spoke. 

'How long do we have?' He whispered.

'Let's not think about that' I murmured. 'Let's pretend I'm not going anywhere'

'Okay' Dan nodded. I would've expected Dan to say something along the lines of 'we can't pretend forever', but we were both feeling the same things. Pretend was better than reality at that time.

He was fragile in that moment, I knew it was sinking in, and I needed him too, but right then Dan had just realized what having no-one would feel like, something I was all too used to. He was shaken up, to say the least, his eyes were red, his cheeks were damp and occasionally you'd hear tiny hiccups from his throat.

I took his hand in mine and lead him up to the doorway, and suddenly my mind flashed back: My hand hit the door knob, and I saw everything again; the blood spilling from my knee, Dan's shirtless figure, that night. Our night. I couldn't help but feel emotional. I didn't like how firsts and lasts came so close together, but at least we had 'again'.

'Are you hungry?' I asked, squeezing his hand.

Dan nodded.

'There's not much here obviously, but I guess we could order...pizza?' It came out like a whisper, my heart jumped, and a tiny smile creeped onto my face.

'Pizza's great' Dan bit his lip.

I began walking over to the phone.

'No-no, Phil I'll order' Dan smiled, placing a hand on my back, I relaxed against it and nodded.

He dialed the number. Domino's. I remembered the time Dan made me come out to Domino's on the phone and rolling my eyes lovingly at him.

'Hi, yes two Hawaiian, hold the pineapple. No, that doesn't make it just a 'ham and cheese' who do you think I am?' I laughed as Dan argued with the Domino's employee. 'I want a 'no pineapple Hawaiian' is that so hard to understand?! Yes. Put it under Phil'

I smiled at him softly as he hung up the phone.

'20mins' He grinned, before his attention was caught by something else in the living room.

Dan walked over there slowly, almost zombie like. He leaned down and picked up one of the DVD's my foster mother had left on the same bench as the TV.

'Narnia?' He raised an eyebrow.

Last time I checked Narnia was in my room, but I guess I could've accidentally moved it while packing all of the stuff in my room up.

In all honesty Narnia wasn't my favourite movie, I didn't even like it that much, but I did, however, feel like I related to it a lot. I liked the idea that the children were able to escape, and be somewhere else, something I wanted so badly...until I actually got it. I guess it also had a lion in it, which was a plus.

I nodded, looking down.

Dan motioned me over. I came over and stood next to him by the couch.

'Wanna watch it?' He asked.

I shook my head, smiling at him.

'Why not?' 

'Better things to do' I shrugged.

'Like what?' He smirked.

I pushed him down onto the couch by the shoulders and climbed onto his lap, wrapping my legs around his hips, he obviously had no problem with this and as I attached my lips to his and felt the edges of his mouth lift up I felt 10 times better. I wasn't somebody who dominated usually, but when you have a little under 3hrs left with someone, you need to be a little assertive when you want something.

I heard him whisper things in my ear as I began to kiss his neck; he told me 'I love you' and 'you're beautiful' and repeated it a thousand times, and every time it made my heart flutter, and every time I believed it because I knew it was true.

After a while, a long while, of kissing, we stopped, not because we wanted to, but because we needed to breathe.

Life would be so much better if we didn't need to breathe. I thought to myself, but if we weren't breathing we wouldn't be alive. I guess you really need to think whether life is based on how many breaths you take or how many moments you make.

'I wish we didn't have to breathe' I sighed.

'Me too' Dan murmured. 'But I-I'm so, so grateful that you are because you came so close to stopping' 

Dan bit down on his his lip.

'I am too' 

And we looked at each other for a moment, my bruises were clearing, almost gone, and Dan's face was as perfect as ever. Everything felt a little better for once.

The doorbell went off, and we both started giggling like little kids. Dan looked at me, expecting me to get up.

'Go on then' I laughed, gesturing to the door.

He laughed, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek before running to the door.