Can't Get Enough (Interracial/BWWM) #Wattys2016

29. Last Time

-Matthew's POV

I was losing it for Chaynia. Those feelings barely even there anymore. Yessica was taking the best of me. I didn't even know if Chaynia and I were together anymore because we spoke less and less.

It was silly for me to be thinking of not being there for Chaynia, because she needed someone to be there for her in a time where she was the most vulnerable.

But I couldn't do it.

It's not the fact that, I stopped loving her that I'm feeling more distant, because I never did. If it really came to the scenario, I'd sacrifice my life for her. It would kill my soul to see anything terrible happen to her. Its the fact that I'm realizing, that I'm a total fucking piece of shit and I don't deserve her.

It eats me up inside every night as I stare at my phone, not knowing how to tell her, how I've let her down and how it gets worse. It even broke me down more knowing that... no matter how wrong I'd do her, she'd always take me back and that really kills me, because I'd have to think if Chaynia had ever done me like I've done her, would I even be able to forgive her?

I mean really, I have a really bad problem and I need help, and in order for me to stop doing it I had to go to one of the main resource and that was Yessica. Then after I broke that off with Yessica, I was going straight down to Atlanta and I was going to settle everything ONCE and for ALL.

No more cheating.
No more lies.
No more secrets.
No more broken promises.

I sighed as I looked at the Pandora Princess ring I was going to give to Chaynia as a promise ring, if she was to take me back. Even if she didn't take me back it would still be hers, because she would be my princess always and forever.

I closed the jewelry box and shoved it in my pocket then cut a look at the time on my dashboard.

7:52 P.M.

I could have told Yessica this shit over the phone besides waiting 20 minutes for her to come out.

"Yessica no more us, leave me alone forever" and would have been done, but nooooooo, I just had to be extra.

Finally, there was a tap on the window and I unlocked the door for Yessica to come in.

"Look Yessica. We can't see each other anymore," I stated bluntly.

That's when Yessica threw a white stick at me. I looked at her confused, but she stared coldly out the window as her arms were folded not saying a word.

The stick had "+" on it. I shook my head in confusion, but then... it made sense. I couldn't believe it.. I dropped the stick on the floor.

......there were no words....just pain.

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there goes,a quick Lil update nun major. I'm back thooooooooooo.

p.s. stop hating on Matt , I promise he's gonna change. and I added a pic of him , he just radiates fuckboy.