chres

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"Sometimes I just need to cry just to ease my hurt." ~ August Alsina

For the last three days, we've been acting a fool at this college. Everyone here was real cool. The atmosphere was something I needed in my life. Especially just being here with Georgia and Malik made me feel normal.

Today, we got up early because Bryson wanted to take us to the lake.

"Aye, nigga I ain't about to let you take nothing down by the lake. We ain't white. I can't even swim, bruh." Malik whined when Bryson told him why we were up at seven in the morning.

It took everything in me not to slap the shit out of Malik when he took my damn shirt. He dammit skinny as hell and wanna wear my shit. Nigga wears a small but wanna wear a shirt that's an extra large because of how big my arms are.

After the waiting on Georgia to finish getting ready, we all got into Bryson's car on our way to the lake. I never been to a lake, so I was excited. I didn't let them know that though. I didn't want to be clowned because I never even thought about going to one.

Looking at movies where the kids would feed ducks and shit made me always think about what type of childhood I had. The most I did was go to the zoo with my mother. Even those memories were ruined because of my father.

Getting out of the car, all I seen was woods. I started to agree with Malik about the whole dying out here shit. But Georgia was overly excited about it. She had her hair in a bun, sunglasses on, a bright orange sundress on and tan sandals. If she was going for fucking beautiful, then she nailed it.

I can't think like this.

"Can y'all hurry up?" Georgia pulled on my hand tugging me through the woods.

She was running, flowing, to her destination. I wanted to experience this when I was at a better place in my life, I guess I'm just going to have to enjoy it.

"This is happiness." Georgia stopped at the edge of the lake gazing at something. "Doughboy, look at it."

She pushed my face out to where she was looking. Indeed it was. I don't get to feel happy too often either. The grass wasn't brown or dry but moist and green. The water was a clear as it was going to get because of global warming. The sun was high in the sky beaming down on us making the air warmer than anything.

Birds, butterflies, and other shit was flying around the area causing my eyes to want to follow everything.

"You forgot your blanket Gi. What I tell you about getting excited like that? Always leaving shit." Bryson came up behind us laying out her blanket for her.

"Hush, put the child lock back on the door if it's such a problem for you Unc." She laughed pushing her sunglasses up on her head. "You like it?"

"It's cool." I shrugged playing off the whole deal.

I heard Georgia sigh. I didn't bother to look back down at her. I just watched the water head off into the horizon.

I don't know what to verbally say about any of this. Georgia eventually went to sit on her blanket. I stood there by myself just letting the image of everything take my mind off of what happened back in Langston and Chicago for once.

I scratched the back of my head making myself feel insecure about gazing at nature. My father would have a fit if he knew I was out here looking at butterflies and not dollar bills.

"Chres, bruh, you good?" Malik came up slapping me on my back.

"Fuck off me. You always gotta put your hands on me." I hit his ass in his arms.

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