Gravity

Chapter Four

Jhoana

All it took me to find my reason to stay in this paradise is fifteen days. By the time I woke up in my sixteenth day, I am all ready to leave the life I have in Manila. I already fell in love with this place that the thought of leaving hurts so much. Another reason is...Bea.

I never doubted myself before, I am sure na I am into guys. Even the thought of me falling in love with a girl is so ridiculous it never even occurred to me. Until that day. My very first day here. And the days that followed.

Since I arrived in here, not a day has passed that I didn't see Bea. She would often wake me up early in the morning just so we can see the sun rise together which is such a struggle because I'm not a morning person. Then she would cook breakfast and we would eat together. We would, then, go for a walk in the beach and just talk. She would always hold my hand. Always made me laugh with all her witty jokes. Made me feel that she would always be there. It was like I've known her my whole life. At first, I just thought that I was just thrilled to have found a best friend in her because I've never really had anyone. Until one day, I saw her talking to someone via Skype. It was a girl. She was so thrilled I would think she's in love with her. Being the curious that I am, I asked her nung naputol yung connection nya.

"You seem so happy. Who is she?"

"She's Maddie, my ex-girlfriend." She looked up from her laptop and answered.

"You mean you're gay???" I didn't mean to sound excited when I said that but it came out that way, I think. Or did it sound like I was judging her?

"You mean all this time, you're not aware?" She laughed and turned back to her laptop. Hindi naman sa hindi ako nakahalata pero hindi rin naman ako nag-assume. Hindi naman namin napag-usapan ang sexual orientation ng isa't isa. I guessed we just both assumed na the other is into guys. Well, lalaki naman talaga ang gusto mo, Jho, diba? Duh? Gusto ko sana syang i-joke na all this time chinachansingan na nya ko but I remembered Maddie and the look in her eyes when she's talking to her.

"Why did you guys break up?" I didn't wanna ask but curiosity got me.

"She went to the US and we don't believe in long distance relationships. But we're still best friends, though." I am not buying that best friend kuno mo! She just finished typing and looked at me. "Why? You jealous?" What the fuck? Am I that obvious?

"Asa! Straight ako no!" I sounded unsure. Even I didn't believe myself. I looked at her. I don't know if it's just me or did I really see disappointment cross her eyes? You must be imagining things, Jho. Why would she be disappointed na straight ka? It's not like she likes you or something.

And then the staring game happened. We just stared with each other for the next five minutes. She almost stood up but then her laptop rang and the magic broke.

"Hi babe! Sorry my connection was lost!" Ayoko nang makinig. Tinawag nya syang babe. Oh eh bakit nalungkot ka? Bakit nga ba, Jho? Don't tell me bumigay ka na dyan. I looked at her again. She's still in love with her ex. I don't even stand a chance.

But still, that didn't stop me from hoping na baka kahit papano, magkaroon ng chance. Kasi diba, ako naman yung nandito kasama nya. Maddie is a thousand miles away from us. At na-fifeel ko, somehow, parang special naman ako kay Bea. Pag-tyatyagaan nya ba ako kung hindi? Eh ang baliw baliw ko. Naiinis lang ako sa sarili ko. Pano kasi parang ang bilis ko naman na-fall sa kanya. Medyo may pagka-tanga din ata talaga tong puso ko minsan. Super nagmamadali.

We are here now at my place. I am trying to paint habang sya nanonood lang sakin.

"Beh." Ever since we watched that "English Only, Please" na movie, nakasanayan na naming tawaging 'beh' ang isa't isa. Ayokong aminin sa kanya na kinikilig ako. Kasi baka ma-awkward sya.

"Bakit beh? Gutom ka na?" I answered without even looking at her.

"No. I was actually thinking, you are already more than halfway of your stay here pero wala pa kong nabibigay sayo na magandang rason para hindi na umalis." Napatingin ako sa kanya. Haaay, Bea. Kung alam mo lang. Ikaw nga lang sapat na eh. OMG. Ang jeje nun.

"Oo nga no? Paano ba yan? Mukhang kailangan ko nang maghanda umuwi ah?" I joked. Pero hindi sya natawa. Instead, tumayo sya at gumalaw yung lamesa kaya natapon yung mga pintura.

"No! I'm not giving up yet. I still have another ten days." Na-shock ako sa reaction nya. Honestly, medyo kinilig ako ng slight. At least ayaw parin nya akong paalisin. My chance pa. I am not giving up, too.

Beatriz

"Oo nga no? Paano ba yan? Mukhang kailangan ko nang maghanda umuwi ah?" Grabe, hindi pa ba ako sapat na rason para lang mag-stay sya? Grabe ka, Jho. Hanggang kalian mo ba paninindigan yang pagiging straight mo?

"No! I'm not giving up yet. I still have another ten days." I saw that she was shocked by the way I reacted but I wasn't able to control my emotions anymore. Parang ang dali dali lang kasi nyang nasabing uuwi na sya.

"Easy ka lang, beh. Ano ba. Pwede mo naman kasi sabihing hindi mo kayang mawala ako, diba?" Natatawa nyang sinabi. Fuck. Feeling nya ba nagbibiro ako?

"Kapag ba sinabi ko sayong hindi ko kaya na mawala ka, mag-i-stay ka na?" Seryoso kong tanong sa kanya. Napatigil sya sa ginagawa nya. Ang tagal nya sumagot. Tinitigan nya lang ako gamit ang malulungkot na mata.

"Hindi parin. Kasi iba naman yung hindi mo kayang mawala sa mahal mo talaga, diba?"

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[A/N] What do you think of this chapter, guys? Waley ba? Really want to know what you guys are thinking :) Please do comment and vote na rin :) Thanksss! :D