Gravity

BONUS CHAPTER - WITH YOU AND ONLY YOU

Beatriz

I can't sleep. Hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi maalis sa isip ko si EJ. Pakiramdam ko ay nagi-guilty na naman ako sa nagawa ko sa kanya.

I met EJ when I was on my 5th month of my stay in the US. My mom invited her family over the weekend. Best friend kasi ni Mom si Tita Jovee, yung mom ni EJ. We instantly became friends. Tinuruan nya ako mag-volleyball. Sabi nya, kapag daw may time na galit galit sya sa mundo, naglalaro sya ng volleyball at sa bola nya ibinubuhos ang galit nya. Kaya yun din ang in-advise nya sa akin. To play volleyball para dun maibuhos ang galit at frustration ko dahil sa pag-iwan sa akin ni Jho. Yes, I did tell her about Jho. Si EJ kasi yung tipo ng tao na hindi ka maghohold-back sa kung anong sasabihin mo sa kanya. You can always tell her everything and she would just listen at kapag tapos ka na ay tsaka ka naman nya bibigyan ng mga advice. It has been our habit to eat ice cream after a game of volleyball. Our favorite ice cream house is Baskin Robbins kaya I understand her excitement earlier nung nakakita sya dito sa Pilipinas nun.

Another thing about EJ is she would always tell you what she wants to say. She will never be afraid kung ano man ang sasabihin mo sa kanya. And so one day, she told me without any hesitations that she is falling in love with me. I admit that I was flattered by her sudden declaration because I never thought somebody would still love me. After Jho left me kasi, I had come to think na baka there is something wrong with me and I will be always left out. Na baka wala na talagang magmamahal sa akin. But EJ proved me wrong. She showed me that I am worth loving. For a while, I even considered EJ. I told her to wait for me. Wait until there is nothing more left with my feelings with Jho. I don't want to be unfair to her. I don't want her to be like those girls who came after Jho na pinatulan ko just for the sake of forgetting her but still ended breaking up with them because marerealize ko rin eventually na walang spark.

EJ gladly waited for me. She never rushed me into falling in love with her. There was never a time I heard her complain. She just continued to show me everyday how much she loves me. She never got tired. Kaso matigas ang ulo ng puso ko. It can never forget Jho no matter how much I tried. Or maybe I didn't try hard enough. Maybe there are just things that are meant to stay forever. Kagaya na lang ng pagmamahal ko kay Jho. So when Maddie told me that the accounting firm we are trying to hire for our business employs Jho, lahat ng ginawa kong pag-momove on from Jho ay nabalewala lang. Even the efforts EJ showed for me.

She cried hard when I told her I am going back to the Philippines to finally face Jho. I was really sorry for her. Alam kong nasaktan ko sya at pinaasa. But it will be much worse if we will continue like this at sasabihin ko sa kanyang may chance pa kahit na alam kong si Jho parin talaga. EJ never got mad at me for doing that. She just hugged me tight and wished me luck in finding my real happiness. In time daw ay magiging okay rin daw sya so I don't have to worry about her anymore. And so we parted ways. I am so full of guilt that I prayed na huwag muna magtagpo ang mga landas namin. I don't how to face her after that. Kaya nga sobrang gulat ko nung malamang andito na din sya sa Pilipinas.

I realized that I was just staring at the ceiling the whole time and was thinking about EJ. I slapped my face and felt guilty. Bakit si EJ ang iniisip ko? I feel like I am cheating on Jho just by thinking about EJ. I never had the chance to tell Jho about her dahil narin mas naging busy ako sa issues namin ni Jho noon. Well. Part narin yung hindi ko naisip na kailangan pa. Do I still have to tell her that?

EJ never gave me the chance to answer her question kanina. Just when I am about to answer ay tsaka ulit sya nagsalita at sinabing wag ko na lang daw pansinin ang tanong nya dahil it's just a stupid question. I obliged because I don't want to hurt her the second time. The truth is, I never wanted to dignify her question with an answer dahil hindi ko na maimagine ang buhay ko ng walang Jhoana Maraguinot. I think if hindi ko man nakita si Jho kaagad ay gagawa rin ako ng paraan para eventually ay makita sya.

Jhoana

I was lying in bed for an hour already but I still can't sleep when I heard my phone ringing. It was Bea. I smiled at the thought that she can't sleep too. I want to think that it's because of me.

"Hi, Love. Missed me already?" I answered smiling. I heard her chuckle and then sighed.

"How did you know? Gosh, it's supposed to be a secret!" I laughed and waited for her to speak again. "So don't you dare go anywhere without me, okay? It will be the death of me." I stopped laughing and before I knew it, I can't stop crying already and trying hard in fighting back the sobs. "Hey, you still there?" I calmed myself first before answering just so she wouldn't notice I'm crying.

"Where do you think I'm going eh I can't stand being away from you naman..." My voice almost gave me in. It's true that I can't stand being away from her anymore. But I guess, in what I about to do, kailangan ko nang sanayin ang sarili ko na mahiwalay sa kanya. Sana lang kayanin ko, naming dalawa.

"I know right, Love." Then some more chuckling. "Listen, the reason I called you, aside from the fact that I missed you already, is that I have something to tell you." That got me distracted from my own thoughts and so my tears stopped.

"What is it, Love?" I can sense that she is hesitating. It took her a while to answer me.

"It's about EJ..." The moment she said that, I began to think a thousand things already. Is she in love with EJ? Is she going to leave me for her? The thought hurts but then that's what I wanted too, right? For her to find another love so that she can continue living even without me.

"What about EJ?" She sighed and then went on to tell me the whole story. The whole time I was just listening. She told me everything, starting from the day they met, up until their moment earlier when she took EJ home.

"I just wanted to tell you all this because I don't want any secrets between us. So...?" Now I understand why she's kind of tense kanina sa dinner nung dumating si EJ. I feel happy that she chose to tell me this but I feel guilty at the same time because I can't do the same thing to her. I can't tell her everything.

"I am glad that you told me, Bei. You don't have to worry about it." I said it, meaning every word. But I can't seem to discard EJ's question to Bea. I wanted to know, too. "Bei...?" She hesitated but continued. "Paano nga kung hindi tayo ulit nagkita? You'd think you'll fall for EJ eventually?"

"Idon't know why you have to ask that, Love, even when you should already knowthe answer. Pero sige, para malinaw para sayo. If hindi kita nakita ulit, Iwill still try to find you. Even if it's in heaven or hell. And... I will onlyfall in love with you and only you, always."    

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Sorry for the short update. I will try to update ulit mamaya. For now, yan muna. Hahahaha. Thank you for the 10k+ reads! Wuhoooo! Love love love to everyone :)