Gravity

Chapter Five

[A/N: This is a time jump. More than a year after. ]

Jhoana

I woke up feeling light-headed. My head hurts. I looked at the clock on my bedside table. 6:30 am. Wow. How was a 4-hour sleep this time? That, actually, is already golden. That was my longest sleep since I left her. Because regret kept on bugging me every night. Yes, I regret everything. I regret that I was not brave enough to fight for what I am feeling, not brave enough to stand up to people who will judge me by my decisions. I regret that I doubted my feelings, her feelings, even. I tried to remember what changed my mind.

*Flashback*

"Jho, you can't be serious. What do you mean you are not coming back anymore? Is it because of that girl?". Nagulat ako ng tinawagan ako ng Tita Marie ko, pinsan ni Mama, isang araw. Hindi ko alam paano nalaman nya yung tungkol samin ni Bea. Siguro nahulaan nya kung anong iniisip ko kaya sinagot na rin nya yung tanong ko kahit hindi ko pa nasasabi. "Nakita kayo ni Lexie. Nagbakasyon sya jan sa Boracay." Crap. Bakit di ko naisip yun? Siguro nakita nya kami sa minsang pagpunta namin sa White Beach.

"But Tita... I love her." Natahimik sya at napabuntong-hininga.

"Look, I am not judging kung gaano katotoo yang nararamdaman mo. But please, try to reconsider. How sure are you na sya talaga ang gusto mo eh ni hindi mo pa nga na-try makipag-relasyon sa isang lalaki? At ano na lang ang sasabihin ng mga tao? Lalo na ng Mama mo?"

Eto yung kinakatakot ko simula nung naging kami ni Bea, yung hindi kami tatanggapin ng mga tao, lalo na ng pamilya ko. I admit, I am not a fan of a "you and me against the world"na mga love story. For me kasi, if the whole world is against you, maybe it is not meant to be. And so I left her. Without even explaining why.

That was the most stupid thing I've done and I regret it to bits until now. Even if it's been more than a year. My hand searched for the necklace. It is a symbol of our promise na hindi namin iiwan ang isa't isa. Hindi ko alam kung bakit kinakapitan ko parin tong kwintas na to eh ako naman ang unang bumitaw.

My thoughts were interrupted when my phone rang. I checked. It's Marci.

"Yo! Don't worry, I'm awake na." I know he's just calling para lang gisingin ako. We have a big day coming in the office eh.

"I know. I just want to make sure." He answered then chuckled. "Eat your breakfast, 'kay? I'll pick you up in an hour and a half." Then we hanged up.

Marci is my officemate whom I met months after I came back from Bora. He's one of the reasons why I was able to stay lucid during the past year. Char. Seriously though, he's a big help in making me forget the stupid things I've done. He made me laugh, made me trekked mountains, even made me consider falling in love again. It's just that, my heart can't. Marci confessed that he likes me. Unfortunately, it is a one sad reality of life na most of the time, the people who we love doesn't love us back. It is the same case for the two of us. Kasi alam kong hanggang ngayon, isa parin yung nagmamay-ari ng puso ko. One thing I like about Marci is he's cool about it. He never brought up the topic again. We just remained close friends. He also never judged me when I told her that I'm in love with Bea. He never judged my decision when I decided to leave her.

I stood up and went to the bathroom to take a bath. I need to get ready because we still have to prepare. We have a big client coming and Marci and I were chosen to meet up with them, given that our past performances have been above expected. I don't know why but I suddenly have the urge to look beautiful today. Well, dapat lang naman na presentable ka when meeting with your clients, right?