chapter 1

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Laurens pov.

Do you have a life full of pain and sorrow? Do you struggle to breath every day not because it hurt but just because you have no strong will to live? Do you want to give up just because you have nothing to fight for?

"Mommy?" I looked over and seen my son standing by the end if the bed. He is the only reason I live, breath, or even try to go through life. At 18 there isn't much you can do to fend for your self. No one believes you when you tell them your past and no one cares about your struggles. I looked at the brown haired boy and picked him up into my arms and he cuddled into my chest.

"I'm hungry." He said and I nodded my head.

"I know baby. I'll find something." I told him. I looked around the abandoned house and shifted when the cool breeze came through the broken window. I stood up and pulled the blanket over him and walked down down the long Hall. It was almost dark out so every thing was illuminated with a light blue setting. I walked out the front door that didn't even have a door on its henge's. I stepped across the porch carefully and missed the holes that skipped across it. I walked down the road and towards a familiar looking home.

"I love you Eathen ." I said and he looked up at me and smiled.

"Love you too mommy. " He said and hugged me.

"You know, you deserve something alot better than me. You deserve a home with out holes in the wall and something to eat every night. I can't give that to you." I said and he reached up with his hand and touched my cheek.

"Mommy's going to go to work real quick and I need you to stay where I put you. Can you do that for me? Can you stay still in the blanket and stay warm?" I asked and he nodded his head and I kissed his cheek. I stopped beside the house by the air conditioning unit and sat Eathen besides it.

"Be good and don't move ok?" I asked him and he nodded his head. I made sure he was ok then walked to the front door and knocked on it. I shifted back and forth on my feet and the drunk opened the door and smiled at me.

"Well it's the slut." He said and grabbed my arm and pulled me into his house. The overwhelming smell of alcohol made my stomach turn.

He made his way over to me and and attached his lips to my neck. I squeezed my eyes shut and his hands roamed under my shirt. I know that I'm only 18, but with no place to live and no family that cares I have to make money somehow. Especially when the state I live in wont let you have a job unless your in school or at least have a high school diploma to get a real job. This guy found me when I was 14 and I was looking for something to feed Eathen . He doesn't know about my son but I like to keep it that way so he won't hurt him. Before I knew what was happening I was naked and laying underneath him. I hated doing this but if it feeds my child and I can keep him warm it's what I will do. He quickly got off of me and shot his fluids on my stomach and fell over on his bed. I closed my eyes utterly discussed with my self and he hit my thigh.

"Go take a shower." He told me and I nodded my head. He always did this Same routine he would do this and pass out for the night giving me time to feed Eathen and give him a bath and wash his clothes. I walked into the bathroom. And opened the window

"Eathen " I said and he stood up and smiled at me.

"Mommy!" He said and I smiled at him.

"Stay there I'll get you I just a second." I told him and started the shower. I washed the contents off of my stomach and then got out and grabbed Eathan Through the window.

"Mommy I hungry." He said and I nodded.

"I know baby give me just a second and I'll get you something." I told him and he nodded his head. I helped him take off his clothes and put him in the shower. I wrapped a towel around me and grabbed both of our clothes and put them in the washer.  I looked around the kitchen on the way back to the bathroom and seen a banana. I split the banana in half and took it with me.

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