Again (PUBLISHED!)

Chapter 18.1.

The next morning as I stepped out of the house for school, I saw Devon walking out of his front gates as well. Our eyes met. I averted my gazes off him as he walked over to me.

If yesterday wasn't enough, what does he wants to say now?

Surely it wouldn't be anything good.

But why the hell am I still standing when I should just be walking off.

"Hard to believe you planned all that surprise for me," said Devon quietly.

"I was possessed. Else I wouldn't dare to commit such a mistake. Easy to believe now?" I said without looking at him.

"I'm sorry for ruining everything yesterday," he said which automatically made me look at him. "I shouldn't have done that," he spoke further, "I've hurt Jackson too. I would have loved drawing, painting and origami had my mother been alive today but since she's not, I find no meaning by looking at those things. But thanks for your efforts though I couldn't appreciate it the way it should have been appreciated."

For some reason I didn't know what to say. His frank tone and empty eyes were something that I had never faced before. Right then, I heard the honk of a car. I looked sideways to see that my friends were there.

"It's okay, " I told Devon without meeting his vacuum orbs, feeling the knot in my chest. Then, without waiting any further, I walked over to my friends, got into the car and we were off to school.

***

I sorted things out with Luke when I met up with him at the campus. We sat under a tree and talked. He was very nice to me but I felt like I was forcing myself to be there. It was hard to laugh at his jokes. It was harder to smile when he said something cute about me. I was feeling so empty within as if my happiness lay somewhere else with somebody else....

I blocked those thoughts at once. After Luke left for the gymnastics class, I went to the Girls Washroom before heading to my next classroom. I had just got done with rinsing my face when---

"So here you are, you double-faced bitch!"

That crude voice unmistakably belonged to Kelly. And indeed when I looked at the door, I found her stood with her made up face brimming with contempt.

"What the fuck were you doing at Devon's yesterday?" she spat, glaring at me.

"Kelly, I---"

"What all had you told me? 'Make Devon forget about every other girl's existence' 'Make him go as crazy as possible for you'," she did a nasty mimic of my words, ' Asking me to make Devon mine and then going to his house behind my back, who's being the whore here now?!"

"Kelly. you'v---"

But Kelly interrupted me aggressively. "You know what, Sanchez, it's good that you killed off your mother long time back. Had she been alive today, she'd be deeply hurt seeing you being such a double crossing filthy slut!!"

Kelly walked off there swaying her hips and leaving me with those dagger like words in her wake.

My hands fell lifeless at either of my sides. Tears obscured my vision. My heart sank and all those scars and memories that I had buried somewhere in the abyss of my soul resurfaced entirely in a flash....

***

Not him.

I was headed to my next class after stepping out of the washroom when I came across Devon in the corridor. My heart missed a beat upon seeing him. I quickly averted my eyes off him and tried to walk away with my head bowed low--

"Hey, wait! You're not okay, what's wrong?!" he said adamantly.

"I'm good."

"I won't believe that. What's the matter, tell me!" pressed Devon, blocking my way.

My hold around my bag tightened. "Devon Parker," I looked at him fiercely, "Leave me alone!I don't need a counselor. If you want to be one, you know where the office is!"

And I hurried away from there, clutching my books close to my chest as some kind of armour.

***

I made up an excuse to my friends since I didn't feel like joining them for lunch. I wanted to hole up somewhere away from the crowd. I was walking in the hallway on my way to the Locker Room when I saw Luke coming from the opposite direction. Maybe I'd feel better if I speak to him? He was my boyfriend and I could surely rely on him.

Yes, I could...

For the first time ever, I knew my eyes were mirroring the pain within me 'cause there was no strength left in me to keep it under wraps.

"Hey!" Luke greeted me with a wide smile like always and held my hand.

I was about to speak---

"James has got a new PlayStation! Can't wait for a jam on it!" he said excitedly. "I'll see you."

Even before I could attempt to say something, Luke left my hand and was gone in no time....

What just happened, I had no clue. I no longer knew anything of what I was doing. The knot of anxiety in my chest was growing. I didn't know what was right and what was wrong. Or maybe I knew.... It was all a sea of confusion, agony, fear and helplessness...