Remain My Drug, My Desire

4 (The Feels Are Strong)

(Y'all may want some tissues)

I decided I needed a shower, Andy was going force his way in with me, but for once he listened to me. Letting the hot water sting my body, to the point of feeling numb from the heat. Do I really love Andy, can I love Andy. I never truly loved Mike, I loved the thought of him. Knowing that I could home to someone, someone who would beg me to get in bed with him. It was selfish of me, what I did to Mike was selfish... Do I love Andy? I never seen love before, my father failed to show me what love is, to give me the feeling of love. Does Andy love me? Does he. I was frustrated, my thoughts annoyed me. I was in the need of something to drink, just to quiet my thoughts. I washed the soap off my body, and stepped out of the shower wrapping a towel around myself. When I walked out into the bedroom my hair dripping wet Andy sat on the bed looking at his phone, he looked up, "Hello angel," he said with a smile.

"Hi," I said and walked over to my bag of clothes, I pulled out a pair of panties and a bra. Dropping the towel the floor, I could hear Andy let out a shaky breath. He was then walking over to me.

"Beautiful," he said placing his hands on me. I pushed his hands off of me. He gave me a confused hurt look, "What's wrong Sway?" he asked.

"I'm going for a walk," I told him quietly, slipping on my black panties and then my bra.

"Can I join you?" he asked me, I shook my head, "Why not?" Andy asked, I grabbed a pair of jeans and pulled them on.

"I just need to clear my mind," I told him truthfully.

"Baby what's on your mind?" Andy asked, desperately wanting to know my thoughts. I put on a sweater since New York was cold.

"I'll be back," I told him grabbing my phone and wallet. As I was walking away Andy grabbed my arm and stopped me.

"Sway." he said quietly.

"Half hour tops," I told him.

"Better be," he said his blue eyes staring into me, as if he was searching for my thoughts. Sighing Andy let his fingers slide down my arm and he let go. As I started to walk away Andy quietly said, "I care for you," I didn't say anything else, if anything I quickly hurried out of the hotel room. I knew what he meant. Damn it. I got to the elevator and pressed the button, soon I was joined by Kells. Not now.

"Are you following me?" I asked him.

"I'm running out to grab a few things," he said, his hands in his pockets. He looked pretty chill for what had happened earlier. "What about you?" he asked. The elevator doors opened and we both stepped inside.

"Nothing that concerns you," I stated crossing my arms.

"Do you hate me?" he asked.

"Yes." I seethed.

"Why?" he asked. I laughed, does he really have to be asking me that question.

"You know why," I told him. We finally got to the bottom.

"Okay, so I fucked up. I thought you were into drugs though. You have to admit it was pretty fun," he said with a smile, as we got off.

"Ha! Well I wouldn't know, because I don't remember shit." I told him.

"Both nights?" he asked. I nodded. "Shit." he said, we walked out of the hotel.

"Tell me what happened that night?" I asked him, dying to know.

"Uh, well if you don't-" I cut him off.

"Fucking tell me Kells." I snapped.

"I wasn't the only one you fucked," he said. My heart stopped beating... He wasn't the only one who had fucked me.