Remain My Drug, My Desire

27

-Sway's POV-

The next day I woke up with the sheets wrapped around me, as always last night was playing inside of my head.

Andy had already left for work. I would go in, today and help out, but I have someone to visit. Dad.

I showered, and got dressed. Today it looked like it was going to rain at some point. Well, great... Not really because I hate rain. When I was already to go, I headed out to go and see dad. This time I ended up taking a bus, instead of driving. I had to talk to him, I had to tell him about mom. I had to know how he was doing.

When the bus dropped me off, a block away of where they were holding dad, I decided that I would just walk the rest of the way. I went inside and asked to see my dad. They said it would be at least a thirty minute wait. I sat around, and waited. When my phone buzzed and I looked to see that I got a text from Andy.

'Where are you?' it read, I hit reply.

'Seeing someone. I will be in later. Bye.' I hit send, I didn't feel like saying I was seeing my dad. I mean everyone knows he is a low life, but he is still my dad. Uncle Ben was the only one, who ever tried to really help him. I mean it is, his younger brother. My phone buzzed again. I sighed and looked at it.

'Who?' it was Andy. I then was being called, so I didn't respond to Andy, I put my phone in my pocket and followed the man back to where my dad would be. The guy who walking me to my dad turned to look at me.

"Fair warning... Your father has been, well... Not his normal self," he told me. Now I was worried.

"Is he okay?" I asked. He was quiet and didn't answer right away.

"He admitted to the murder that had happened years ago... Now he is kind of losing his mind," he explained. Do I back out? Can I handle my insane father. I was too far in, because I see him waiting on me. The door was opened and I walked in, he was on the other side of the glass. I sat down, and picked up the phone.

"Why are you here?" were the first words he said.

"I wanted to see you," I told him. He looked pale, and I could see pain, and the crazy in his eyes. It scared me, and worried me.

"You wanted to see me?" dad asked, laughing, "You wanted to see your old man," he had this smile on his face, one that didn't reach his eyes.

"Yes," I answered.

"I'm a fuck up Sway," he said hanging his head.

"Yeah, well so am I," I told him.

"That's my fault, not yours," he snapped.

"I found mom," I finally said, just to change the subject. His face dropped.

"You found her?" he asked me, I nodded my head, "Is her life perfect?" he asked, again I nodded.

"You lied, she never cheated on you... You just didn't want me to see her," I said, looking at my father, trying to find some emotion on his face.

"Because I wanted you! I didn't want you to leave me!" he said banging on the glass. I jumped back, "I'm sorry," he quickly said, the men standing in the back were already looking our way.

"They said you were losing your mind," I said, I could now see the pain in his eyes, the hurt he felt. As his life mistakes finally made sense to him.

"I'm shit Sway, I was a worthless father, I worthless husband... I fucked up bad. I did ever since I was brought onto this earth. I shouldn't even be here." he said hanging his head. I couldn't take another second of these words. He can't say those thing.