Remain My Drug, My Desire

29

🚨This is not a happy chapter 🚨

-Sway’s POV-

    Once we got back to the house, I hurried away from Andy, who chased me down, “Please talk to me!” Andy begged, following me on my heals. It’s not that I don’t want to tell him, I just don’t want to repeat this painful moment/event for myself.

    “My mother is shit! My father killed himself! And my Uncle never stepped up like he said he would!” I yelled. “Happy now! You now know just how fucked up shit is for me! How fucked up I am. How fucked up my life is! Go to work Andy, just go to work. You belong there. What the hell am I even doing here?! I don’t belong here, you are rich… You have a life! Go back to fucking the girls Andy! I’m not worth the fucking time anymore!” I yelled, feeling like I was going collapse. Next thing I knew I was pinned up against the wall.

    “Don’t you dare say those things, don’t you fucking say those things Sway. Listen to me. I want you, I want you and only you. Fuck all those other girls, you are the only girl I want. You are my beautiful fucked up mess. Mine, and that’s final.” Andy demanded. Am I his? Is he mine? My feelings for him, were unclear to me. I didn’t know what I felt? I can’t give him kids, I can’t give him love… Or whatever the hell it’s called. All I can give him is…. Well lost hope I guess.

    “Just leave Andy…. Please go. Go to work. Just leave me here, alone….” I said pushing him off of me.

    “Angel, baby please let me stay… Please,” Andy begged. I could tell he didn’t want to leave me here by myself.

    “GO!” I screamed at him. For once Andy listened, he didn’t argue and he didn’t stand his demanding ground. He backed off, giving me a pained look. I return the same look, and watch as he slowly makes his way to the door.

-Andy’s POV-

    Fuck! Fuck! Fuck, I need to turn back around. Son of a bitch. No, I need to give her space. But I can’t, I shouldn’t. Maybe Kells could help. Maybe Taylor? Maybe Juliet? I’m freaking out. Leave her? By herself? Alone? With her thoughts…. With her mood? I slowly backed out, regretting it already.

-Sway’s POV-

    I didn’t even think about the thought again, I hurried up to the room grabbed a night bag, and tossed clothes inside of it. I needed to be alone. I needed everyone to leave me alone. As much as I want Andy to fuck away this pain… Right now all I want is to soak in my misery. I sat my phone on the nightstand. I won’t be needing this. It will be easier, that way Andy won’t find me. I quickly grabbed some paper and a pen.

    -’Andy I need time. I need to be alone. Please understand… Thank you.’- I picked up the paper along with my night bag, and a wad of cash. I’m probably making a big mistake, but that’s okay, mistakes are made to be made. I placed the paper down on the table where Andy could see it. I walked out of the house, and down the long driveway. I could already feel the pain as I was walking away from the house. But I didn’t look back. I didn’t dare to look back.

    I got to the bus stop and waited for it to show up. I told the bus driver where to take me. Within forty minutes it pulled up to the bus stop. And I got off. Old memories started to swirl in my mind as I looked around. Home.

    I went to my old trailer house, where dad and I lived. I went inside, to find it pretty much the same. I sat my night bag down on the old wooden chair. And looked around, the floorboards creaked every time I walked. I headed down the tiny hallway, and at the end was dad’s bedroom. Sitting on his nightstand was a photo of me and him on my sixth birthday. He got me a barbie doll. I loved that thing. I sat down on the bed, and picked the photo up. He may have been a bad father, but he always had his good days, the days that I don’t forget. And now he is gone. I held the photo close and started to cry. I miss you so much dad. After clearing up my tears, I turned on dad’s radio. And the first song that came up was ‘What Hurts the Most’ by Rascal Flatts, dad had a soft side for country music. This was one of his favorite songs. I’ve walked in on him, crying while this song played. I never asked him, why it made him cry. I wish I did.