anobrain // narry au

two

a double update that's entirely unedited and rushed, but when the story is completed, everything will finally be edited.

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chapter nine. "&."

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There was only one time Harry has ever been in love with someone. We were all still in primary school (probably around the age of eleven) and he wasn't seriously in love with her.

The girls name was Imogen and Harry only loved her because she had this peculiar fluffy strawberry blond hair no one else had within our school. Harry realised, after seventy-two hours of that relationship, that everyone can have fluffy soft-like hair. And then, before secondary began for all of us, Imogen moved to Austria. A long distance ways from Manchester.

That was the first and only girl Harry dated. When he turned thirteen he told Zayn and I he didn't like the extra muscle girls carried rather than guys, not really knowing what he meant by that, and neither did we in that moment of truth.

Who knew the four of us would've agreed with him some years later about those unappealing muscles?

But this.

This is different because we're older now. Supposedly more wiser due to encounters and experiences that have happened in the years of adolescence.

And according to the world and its biased society, we're suppose to grow smarter the more we age; it sure doesn't feel that way.

Even when Harry opens his mouth to speak and no words are enunciated. Buried underneath his tongue like lies buried underneath a carpet rug.

"Are you," I speak since Harry can't, grasping him from his inward concurring thoughts. "Do you think– Are you in love with Liam too?"

Harry groans responsively with his face in the palm of his hands. He's then sputtering and spluttering over and under and amongst his words. Then he situates him before uttering into the silence a weak, "No." as his eyes look regretfully towards me. "What Liam and I have is just sex. There are no feelings but a physical attraction to one another."

And then I begin to feel sympathy for Liam. To love someone who doesn't love you back is an indescribable feeling. It's just like being hurt or heartbroken. & it's like one of those moments when you're physically yourself but you're mentally accompanied by your inward thoughts. Practically traveling through every reminiscent of the past, and all you can really say to yourself is, wow.

"I think you should tell him," it's a good suggestion despite the bad confession. It's good to tell Liam so he's aware of their position, their relationship, their benchmark as two friends undergo certain privileges usual friends don't add into regular friendships. That casual label of friends with benefits.

Harry rubs at his nape hesitatingly. "I don't want to hurt him," he selfishly murmurs. Because it is selfish since Harry already said enough without saying one word to Liam. He said enough when he abruptly departed after Liam's sincere confession, leaving him in the dust to venture and explore the world of love alone; now vulnerably.

Which is a coward thing for Harry to do. I compare him to the cowardly lion in our favourite classic film, The Wizard of Oz. Always in fear of the beautiful things in life like love, and myself and Harry are aware of this. Aware of his lack of fearlessness.

"You're being unfair, y'know that right?" I tell Harry, leaving him no time to respond. "Liam deserves to know the truth about how you feel."

"I feel bad for not loving him back," Harry admits. His eyes are drawn to the Scrabble game laid out in front of him instead of towards me. "But I think it's because Li and I never started out with that common thing most relationships start with," Harry looks at me briefly. "We were friends just like Louis and Zayn, but we rushed into everything unlike Louis and Zayn."

And that's true. When Zayn and Louis began dating they were very wary of their actions. And sometimes being wary and patient leads to better things in life, like a great relationship. Something similar to what Louis and Zayn have...and Harry and Liam don't.

"I'll tell Li I'm in love with someone else," Harry says as I look at him. Almost sure my brows are furrowed confusingly. From the look on Harry's face, he notices his words too, but instead of pressing the topic further I decide to brush it off for now with some banter.

"I just knew you'd fall in love with Imogen James again," I say, guffawing at my own words when Harry barks out immediately surprised laughter.

His eyes widen. "You tosser," he says. "Why do you still remember her? And that?!"

The aura between us lightens after that, and no matter my resentment towards Scrabble, we both finish up the remaining round. Until the once blue sky transition into a stygian night. Then the clock shows the zeroes aligning together on the twenty-four hour clock. Neither Harry and I seem to mind the late timing.

"Can I sleepover?" he questions softly, already beginning to remove the shirt he's wearing.

Subconsciously my eyes land on Harry's abdomen thoroughly eyeing his body up. When Harry looks at me I turn away with flushed cheeks.

"I don't see why not."

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I just wanted to do a double update so the previous update makes more sense.

And no Niall isn't taking any sides. He's just being realistic to the matter at hand. No one would want that to happen to them, so don't be biased!

double updates are lovely and they make me feel ahead. you all have a great day!