anobrain // narry au

mum's

I've walked over a bridge for the first time and I'm terrified of heights. I've finally lived for the first time, though. So it's okay.

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chapter fifty-one. jaan.

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OVER THE MATTER OF months I finally graduate from my local college. And Harry's finally gained the recognition him and his team have been craving and working hard for him to succeed. So it was an accomplishment for the two of us.

One weeknight I was scrolling through my social media account to see Harry upload a peculiar picture. Since over the past several months he's gained this interest in black and white photos to share with the world. Whilst slowly he's lost his passion for the common selfie, however he still allows me to take a few with him when we're physically together. Usually that's occasional.

After viewing the uploaded photo, I decide to explore his account. Automatically widening my eyes in shock from the blue verification cheque mark in Harry's bio.

Harry's also been the face of a few magazines and websites, just a little section. But it's enough for people to discover you, become fans, and verify your account apparently. The news causes me to sigh because I'm suppose to be the popular boyfriend in our relationship truthfully.

GRADUATION MEANS NO MORE exams. All the ones I were scheduled to take I have a good feeling about anyway. There's one thing having optimism versing a full wave of confidence. Such confidence from studying efficiently rather than cramming in information the night before. To read over notes rather than skimming such information briefly — sort of confidence.

Working at Colourful Sandwiches gives me a little boost of confidence. Getting to meet amiable customers, some willing to converse momentarily or to see quick and friendly smiles. All pros more than cons, but I'm excited to finish up my afternoon shift. Subconsciously thinking to home for relaxation. A home that consists of me, myself, and I.

My body sighs melodramatically when it meets with the cushions on the lounge couch. But there is this automatic warmth relaxing my tired bones, soothing my exhausted muscles. Just causing me to lay down on the couch for a moment or for a while. Relaxation causes me to think.

Think about what's to happen after Colourful Sandwiches. As I age older I will not be able to live, plainly, off of a minimum wage salary. I won't be living within my mums walls either. Or within Manchester's invisible borders too.

There's accomplishments Cara has succeeded for herself. Most, I'll never obtain, but moving out from mum's house is one I'd like to succeed at too. Possibly if I'll ever get to university.

A silhouette appears in the threshold grasping me from my internal, consistent thoughts. It moves to the doorway of the lounge — practically glistening in the dark room from the lights being off and such. It makes me a bit nervous watching their every move, yet I fake nonchalance.

"If you're a murderer planning to kill me, I'm not home!"

There's a responsive chuckle then the light switch is flicked and the lights for the lounge appear. Revealing my knight in shining armour, figuratively.

And then, I'm actually rubbing my eyes to see if it really is Harry. Holding a plate of pancakes with joggers hanging loosely around his waist. Nearly showing his prominent V-line. Harry's shirtless revealing some familiar tattoos, and a headscarf is wrapped securely around his wavy hair. Hair that seems to grow more and more and more every time I encounter him. More than a foot instead of common inches and such.

His presence causes me to stammer out his name confusingly as I sit up swiftly. It only makes Harry laugh wholeheartedly before he's kneeling in front of the couch eye level to me.

Harry brushes some hair out of my face. His thumb rubs softly against my cheek before tapping at it playfully. "You've got to stop hiding the spare underneath the doormat, love," he tells me as I push him away from me playfully.

There's a bright smiles that brushes my face automatically. Because I've missed Harry's cheekiness and his comical demeanour. I've missed Harry, and I don't get to see him often as I use to. But his consistent absences only leave me to cherish his presence a little bit more. So much my lips attach to his just as quick.

Those fireworks burst from within. Igniting then thundering against my ribcage, and when my eyes lock with Harry's after our embrace my heart pummels further. He's just so breathtaking. Breathtakingly beautiful.

The way his eyes glisten and glimmer like the moon in the night's darkness. To the faint stubble growing alongside his jawline and underneath his nose. To his tan skin and vague presentation of pimples — typical, teenage acne. Harry may be a model to the world but to me, he's still my Harry. Growing older though not much wiser.

My breath hitches from his physical pulchritude. "I love you," Harry's lips press to mine responsively. He repeats, "I love you too."

HARRY'S FREE DAYS ARE spent here, in the Delevingne–Horan house. Well kind of since Harry spent two nights at his home to catch up with his mother and visiting sister. I'm sure they missed him more than I could've ever.

Days cannot replace the amount of months Harry has departed and travelled around the world. And now he's going to London to finish up this experience one week later. A two hour train ride straight there — we both stand at the train station a few minutes earlier than Harry's departing train. It hurts to witness Harry's continuous departures. It sucks to know this is what he wants to do as a career; leave.

My arms fly around his muscular figure before Harry's, soon, trailing down the path. A large duffle-bag on his shoulder. Harry turns around to blow a kiss towards me, and like an imbecile I swiftly catch the gesture with the palm of my hand. Holding it protectively against my chest with only one question in mind --

When will I ever get use to these frequent departures.

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bUT I CRUMBLE COMPLETELY WHEN YOU CRY. IT SEEMS LIKE ONCE AGAIN YOU'VE HAD TO GREET ME WITH GOODBYE. Arctic Monkeys's 505 goes so perfectly with this chapter. And I got hella excited to write those lyrics haha. Most of these chapters are fillers by the way.

I want to move to England ::// -- I high-key hate living here.