anobrain // narry au

the

i hAVE FIVE CHAPTERS WRITTEN AND READY TO GO OMF. The pros to staying home all day from school.

How is everyone by the way? I apologise for the future fillers after this chapter. They're sort of short.

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chapter fifty-seven. settling into the unsettling.

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TEETH CAPTURE THE ENDS of my nails in disbelief as I stand in a corner, now, stationed in Los Angeles with my mother fitting Luke and my sister Cara for almost an hour already. And in this current hour I've witnessed Luke get stabbed with a sewing needle more than the amount of fingers I have, and Cara wearing an even worse attitude than the clothing assigned to her.

Maybe it's that week of the month for women or the fact that Cara and Kendall are having a fatal stare down with one another from across the room. The past fifteen minutes already.

Then there's Harry who's also supposed to arrive any second now. I haven't spoken to the filthy cheater since that horrid night in my hotel room. I also don't plan to even if these past days have sucked more than a little bit.

It sucks because it happened and I don't have any answers as to why. Now more than ever I'll see Harry around because my mother has decided to add him to her upcoming clothing line -- fortunately for him and unfortunately for me-- with Cara and Lucas. It sucks because I expected more from Harry. More than he had the capability to let on.

And on cue he enters with a strawberry blond to the right on him. Engaged deeply in a serious conversation with her, Blake. It has to be serious from the way Harry's eyebrows are furrowed like he's trying to comprehend her soft words with the thinking face he's wearing. One I'm far too familiar with. I almost smile at the adorableness Harry habitually wears but immediately stop when he locks eyes with mine.

Harry whispers inaudibly to Blake before he begins walking toward me, in my direction. But hurriedly I walk away to Kendall's spot. A quiet sanctuary she seems to be happily trapped within. Fingernails tapping heavily and vigorously on her phone screen as she sits upon a material sofa. I sit a few inches from her, warily, in an attempt to remain silent.

It doesn't happen successfully since the couch makes a sound when my bottom interact with it. Causing Kendall to look up and wave amiably at me. I reciprocate the friendly gesture still warily, but she doesn't take notice of the feeling as Kendall looks back to her phone after sending me a halfhearted smile.

There's a silence I've been trying to obtain here in this busy facility. Busy and loud and it only grows louder by the second, disturbing the peace of the genuinely quiet ones. A tall figure disturbs mine when he hovers over me. A hand on his hip after minutes sitting here.

"Kendall," he says before she obligingly looks up to him. "Richard says he needs you for makeup time." Kendall nods politely, a smile and a wave thrown my way before she stands to her bare feet. Her gradual departure actually saddens me.

It's saddening because I didn't say goodbye and because Harry takes her seat on the cushion inches from me. It causes me to frown before standing, but Harry grasps onto my wrist closest to him pulling me back onto the couch where I sat beforehand.

There's a melodramatic heave that leaves Harry's mouth as a sigh. "We're gonna have to discuss this sooner or later," he says to me.

"We don't have to discuss it at all," I shoot back in retaliation, but truth be told, I don't. I don't want to relive this topic or our relationship. The determination etched onto Harry's face causes me to sigh in defeat because apparently there is a discussion about to happen.

"Harry," I sigh stressfully. "What do you want?"

"Closure," Harry immediately answers.

"For what?" it's a genuine question filled with loads of curiosity. To know why the one who initiated this problem in a steady relationship would suddenly desire closure to move on, when I am the one lacking final answers. It belligerently unfair.

"Us."

It's obviously a relationship with Harry cannot happen after this. We can't be together at the interim moment, especially the things going on for the both of us. Harry's a travelling model. I travel alongside my mother as she flies all over the world to make ends meet for her fashion line. There isn't an in between and the reality makes me bite my lip defeatedly—

We'll never be together because there is a lack of physicality. Long distance can never work for us. It's physically impossible.

My eyes look away from the man I love as I frequently blink to suppress the built up emotion. We've been separated for days now, and I can only imagine what'll happen in the future for this month and the next month and its following if we were together. More cheating scandals and affairs. My heart stutters like my words do.

There's repeated coos and the word baby exiting out of Harry's mouth before fingers lift my chin up to stare into the stone studded jade coloured eyes. Clouds of nostalgia wash over and through me. Nausea becomes prominent too. Then there's the closure I've been apprehensively waiting for:

"I didn't have sex with anyone, Niall," Harry tells me. "It doesn't make the situation better, but I stopped it before it led to that point."

I don't say anything. Those bright green eyes stay in my peripheral the entire time. "Promise me something?"

Reluctantly I nod as my heart continues to slam heavily and roughly against my ribcage. My poor, poor ribcage. So abruptly. So suddenly Harry presses his lips against my succinctly. Pulling away before I can express any form of emotion through the swift gesture.

"Promise me you'll wait for me because I'll wait for you," he says.

Words will always be words. They don't elicit actions and aren't truly expressed unless an initiative is taken place, to defend such simple words. And I haven't the slightest clue what Harry's on about, but I nod in agreement anyway as Harry looks away from me only to stand to his feet for his upcoming fitting then photo shoot.

Harry's dreams in the modelling agency are primary. I need to find my role in this world before I settle into the unsettling as my age only increases further.

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