Why Wattpad Drives Me Crazy - Part II

8|Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff

Just went to eat fried chicken in this Korean restaurant

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It drives me insane when writers try to be all exotic with their character's names thus giving them a long clitbag arse name ONLY TO CALL THEM BY A TWO-LETTER NICKNAME FOR THE REST OF THE DAMN BOOK

"My name is Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes Yancy Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff, Senior, but everyone calls me Schleg."

(Fun fact: that name above is, in fact, Guiness World book of Record's longest name. The guy lives in Philly...)

*starts singing fresh prince of bel-air theme song IN WEST PHILADELPHIA BORN AND RAISED*

But honestly, what is the honest point of naming your child Yoluewkdiamondringewqwuitnfkeklakfjcndkcla? Just so you can give her the nickname of Diamond?

It's because of that damn prophecy, huh. The one which you carefully crafted to be about a Diamond and everyone thinks it's the material while in actual fact it's the person?

I just cracked you, girl. I cracked you real good, and now we all know, so just give her a decent name that isn't long AF for no reason whatsoever

Forgive me here for I wish to digress - our poor aforementioned Adolph, how long do you think he took to memorize his entire name? Especially that surname fam; do you think his parents made it into a song so that he could remember it?

#FindingDory

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The chicken was good thanks

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