Why Wattpad Drives Me Crazy - Part II

15| You ain't no Spielberg fam

I feel like I've been saying the word 'fam' too much but what do you expect, I've been talking to these British idiots too much fam (insert tags of said persons but u know it never lets me tag them so whatever)

(@WhyIsYourUserSoLongCaragher and @AstroGayAssMotherfucker)

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I hate when Wattpad authors make trailers for their books. Bear in mind that these books aren't going to be movies at all. This, therefore, is the first reason that I ask why. Why would the bother to make a trailer if it's not going to be a movie?

First and foremost, I can attest to the fact that 90% of these trailers are made by people who are fucking useless at movie editing.

Note: using iMovie on your Macbook does not make you a professional film maker. Or editor.

Secondly, these people don't know how to spell either, so you know those moments that words flash on the screen between scenes from the 'movie'? Yea. Those are painful af to read, because it's like:

*useless opening music by Iggy Azalea*

MEET QUENTIN

*slo-mo shot of Tyler Posey walking dramatically*

QUENTIN IS A BAD BO -

*immediately cuts to scene of random tattooed boy*

BUTT WHEN HE MEETS TITTY

*slo-mo shot of Selena Gomez walking while smiling*

EVERYTHNG CHANGES

*dramatic music from Titanic film [pirated ofc]*

*slo-mo scene of two silhouettes kissing so as not to show that it isn't Tyler Posey and Selena Gomez*

*cuts to another scene from High School Musical of people at the cafeteria*

*cuts to scene of Justin Bieber drag racing*

BUT WILLIT CHANGE FOR THE BETTER?

*black guy getting slapped*

*scene of Taylor Swift crying (coz her career over)*

READ 'THE BAD BOY IS HEAD OVER BRA' ON WATTPAD TO FIND OUT. LINK IN THE DESCRIPTION! ALSO FOLLOW THE AUTHOR OF THE BOOK, HER NA -

*too many words to fit on screen, immediately credits stupid smug ass person who was responsible for making the useless ass video*

And not to mention that some of these trailers have the nerve to use the stupid opening clips from Universal Studios or 20th Century Fox to introduce their trailers

*DUN DUN DUN, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun...ta ta ta taaaaa (dun dunanan dun), ta ta ta taaaa (dun dunanan), TUN TUN TUN TAAAAAAAAAAAAN*

Like I'm pretty sure that that's like, illegal?

Anywho, my main issue with trailers of Wattpad books is that because they obviously aren't going to be an actual movie, the person making them HAS to use clips from a million different pre-existing movies using a million different people to portray the same damn character

So like in the example, because the writer casts Tyler Posey and Selena Gomez for the role, you'll find a scene of Selena kissing some other random guy who u just see the back of his head

Like lol? You almost got me there fam, I didn't even notice that it was a clip from Wizards of Waverley Place because Mason almost looked like Tyler Posey there, he nearly made it, you coulda had me fooled!

Ahahaha you know I lie.

#SorryNotSorry

So why on earth would you make a trailer when it obviously won't work?

It's very difficult to piece one together, unless ofc you've cast Shailene Woodley and Ansel Elgort as the leads coz they've now been in four fucking movies together like wth

Anyway, that's obviously not what you have in mind because remember my rant about casting in WWDMC1? (Well STFU I know you said no but it's a rhetorical question)

I had talked about how it annoyed me that writers would cast people that would never even work with each other ever in real life and so it's like wth how tf do u expect to make a trailer when Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Blac Chyna are your main characters

#GGMU
#OnlyFootballFansWillGetThis

Bottom line? Stop making trailers. They're stupid af.

Trailers of WWDMC1 & 2 coming out soon

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In my drafts lies a full analysis of the Taylor Swift drama as requested by spark_ely (OMG IT HAS FINALLY LET ME TAG SOMEONE).

To publish or not to publish?

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