(#1) Roommates by Day, Enemies by Night

Chapter 47

Life is not simple, and people can't be boxed into being either heroes or villains.~ Jessica Hagedorn

Dedication: To kekeli27 for the massive amount of voting she's been doing, thank you so much!

Siena

The next morning, I was so mad at Dylan, and so distracted by our fight, I nearly burned the house down trying to make myself some food, so I could escape to school and be left alone. I refused to accept any of his help, and as much as it was killing me inside to not talk to him, or even be friendly with him, I was just so stressed, and annoyed at everything that was going on right now. Plus, I held grudges badly. I couldn't let go of them.

My hands shook with frustration as I tried to make myself an omelette, only to end up burning it halfway through. I tossed the remnants of the destroyed meal in the trash and washed my hands. I had gotten up much earlier this morning in an effort to avoid Dylan, but he was going to be up soon.

I cleaned up the mess I had left in the kitchen and packed up my bag, going into the kitchen once again to grab my coffee and an apple. Just then, Dylan walked in, his hair as messy and ridiculous as ever. I resisted the usual pull to fix, and turned my back to him. Quickly grabbing my coffee and an apple, I gave him a frigid glare before I pulled open the door to the apartment and left, letting it shut naturally behind me.

Catching a glimpse of his hurt expression, I felt a small but intense stab of guilt, and I didn't want to fight. But this was the only way for Dylan to learn to leave me alone. I took a bit out of the apple, absentmindedly chewing it on my way to school. Lately, my sessions with Lucinde had been getting better and better, but I was afraid of what she would see when she saw me acting like this.

Of course, I deserved every bit of misery coming my way. I had killed a person, there was no excuse for that at all.

I chucked the barely eaten apple into a trash can and gulped down the rest of my coffee. Every day, I was feeling worse and worse, but I didn't know what was up with me. It had been ages since I had slept well, felt hungry, or even functioned without wanting to die from sickness.

I played with the locks dangling down my chest, that were thin and lanky, giving me the impression of looking ever worse. It especially hadn't helped that I hadn't been taking my anxiety pills, and my need for them had only increased, in light of everything that had happened with Shreya.

I just wanted to collapse into a puddle right there on campus and fall asleep.

Steeling myself, I headed straight to class, not pausing to say hello to anyone. I stuffed my earbuds in my ear and turned on my music, sulking at the back of the room while waiting for my professor to walk in. I was fairly early to class, but not early enough that I was the only one there. I ignored the steady stream of students trickling in and focused just on the music in my ears.

When Dylan walked in, he tried to catch my eye, but I simply turned away and glanced down at my phone, changing the song. Getting the hint, he sat on the other end of the classroom, something I was grateful for. It made it much easier to be mad at him.

Thankfully, the professor walked in just after Dylan, and I was able to focus my attention on something else.

The rest of the day was torture. Every class, Dylan tried to speak to me, I brushed him off. I have to admit, I was feeling a bit cruel after his last attempt, but I just couldn't forgive him right now. And that was the worst thing. Because it wasn't him who was the mean one, it was me. I had been the one to snap at him when he was only trying to help, but what was done was done.

I had yelled at him, and in some twisted logic, I had needed someone to blame for my own inability to be kind and caring like him, to deal with the repercussions of what I had done. Keeping it bottled up had only caused me to let all the stress and frustrations on the first person I saw, who was Dylan.