Fading Chances

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Everything molds into normality
the very next morning.
Routine,
as if yesterday never happened.
Routine,
waking up,
dressing for school,
Wheaties for breakfast,
bidding mother and Suki goodbye
and getting dropped off at the gates.

The feeling never strays
It stays with me,
during every class,
even lingering at lunchtime.
Mei asks me if I'm okay,
but since I didn't know what it is,
I shrug it off,
hoping it won't materialize
and ruin the peace again,
like it had yesterday.

Hours pass in a nonsensical blur,
with early homework
and Mei's hushed Japanese
as she chats to me
while we grab our coats
to head home.

With hurried farewells
we part.
Looking back,
I wish I hadn't got into
Mother's car
that day.

Maybe then, I'd have
had the tiniest chance
of f r e e d o m

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