Beautiful Sins (A Joker FanFic)

Chapter Four

"Kill me." I whispered back.

The Joker didn't like my answer. He stood out of anger, violently grabbing the stool he sat on and swinging it to his left and throwing is at the wall. He snarled at me, grabbing me by my hair and flinging me backwards onto my feet and against the wall.

He stared at me suddenly pinning me against the wall, but it was nothing like before. He was angry, pissed even. I examined his face closely, was he going to kill me? I felt a chill go down my spine.

He was breathing hard, he made an audible growl.

"You don't wanna die." He laughed darkly. "I'm gonna make ya wanna die."

He grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me out of the kitchen. I could tell this was the insane part of him, and I was afraid of it; yet, I found myself excited by the idea of him hurting me. That wasn't me, I hate pain! He was taking me through a long hallway down more stairs, opening a huge metal door with his thumb on a scanner, ignoring the keypad. I was dragged into a concrete kind of basement area. There were dozens of rooms in this long concrete hallway, he dragged me down the hall to the third door on the right. His grip on my wrist was hard, and painful. The circulation was being cut off and my hand went numb.

He angrily put in the code on the pad that stuck out beside the door, and flung me into the room. I hit the wall and almost fell down but I steadied myself. I heard the Joker laughing menacingly. Two other men followed Joker into the room. It was the panda and the rabbit guy. They came up to me without pause, each grabbing an arm, and pulling me onto a metal slab in the center of the dimly lit room.

"LET GO OF ME!" I screamed, I don't like people that I don't know touching me. I kept trying to fight them but they strapped my arms down, and the Joker was at my feet strapping down my ankles. I fought it until they both left my side and exited the room. The Joker stood to my left, looking down at me with a devious grin. I stared at him with tears in my eyes, I wasn't afraid of dying. I wasn't afraid of pain. I was afraid of living, and of being alone. I anticipated the pain, but I couldn't let him know that.

"Are you going to kill me?" I asked hopefully.

His grin widened, "You'd like that wouldn't you?"

He took two metal things and fiddled with something too low for me to see, a charging sound zipped through the air. He laughed again while saying, "Oh no, I'm not gonna kill ya, I'm just gonna hurt ya, really, really bad." He rubbed the two metal prongs together and put them up to my temples. My right temple still sore from the gash on it that I'm assuming the joker gave me. Suddenly a wave of pain overcame me. I wasn't thinking about Luka, I wasn't thinking about batman, I just looked up at the Joker. His smile wide his laugh echoing through the painful waves of electricity pulsing through my brain. I was screaming but the pain didn't hurt me, it was thrilling. The Joker's face began to become like my paintings, colors swirled around him, his smile seemed to get wider and wider until it was literally ear to ear. The world around us was purple and his green hair fell into his face and dripped onto me.

Suddenly I was home, in my room painting the Joker again, my room was suddenly white. I saw a figure approaching me slowly and from a blur I realized who it was.

"Luka?" I called out.

I was shaking like I was riding in a car down a rocky road. I couldn't see straight everything was black and white, and 3D with red and blue on the outer edges. Everything seemed like it was moving under a strobe light. "I love you." Luka said.

I looked down, suddenly I was on the fire escape again, watching Luka die again. I screamed out but as he took his last breath I was being torn away from him. I stood, running and trying to reach him but he was out of sight now. I turned around to see a black figure and I realized exactly who it was. Joker was with me now, his smile still ear to ear and he held a golden machine gun. I walked over to him and batman was on knees now. I took the gun from the Joker and started laughing. Joker laughed with me, we laughed and laughed and I pulled the trigger holding it down facing batman. Laughter echoed and suddenly batman was nothing but a tattered cape. He was dead.

Everything was dark, and I felt sore. I opened my eyes. I was back in the Jokers bedroom, and I realized none of that was real... but, what if it could be? My entire body was numb. I knew I couldn't get up but I needed to. With great struggle I lifted my arm and pushed the cover off of me. Pain sliced through me, I laughed. "JOKER!"

That familiar laugh came on through what I'm guessing was a speaker. "How may I assist ya, Dollface?"

"Come here, pretty please." I convulsed with laughter.

Moments later the man himself pushed the door open and walked in. "What do you want?" he chuckled.

Through the pain I slowly lifted myself up, and he sat on the edge of the bed. I pushed through the pain and crawled over to him. He pulled me onto his lap and I smiled up at him. "You." I giggled.

He growled this time huskily, and with his insane smile, which faded as he murmured. "Mmmm finally."

He took my face in his hands and pressed his lips against mine. I craved his lips, as they moved in sync with mine, I melted into him. He pulled back after a minute. Not much, just to where our lips were almost touching still. He smiled and growled throwing me onto the center of the bed and getting on top of me. His lips crashed into mine, it hurt so badly, my body felt weak but his lips gave me strength. I whimpered, but when he started to pull away I tangled my fingers in his hair, and the other rested on the back of his neck. He pulled his shirt off quickly and began to slide mine off.

"J..." I paused.

His eyes flashed to mine, and he looked confused and I could see the lust in his eyes.

"I... I'm still a virgin..." I trailed off.

I numbly felt his hand on my stomach as he released my shirt and slid his hands down towards my shorts. He stopped pausing, as he looked into my eyes and kissed me softly, I was surprised by how delicate his lips were on mine now. He kissed me slowly and I felt warm, the numbness started to go away. I felt safe, but I began to regret this. I pushed the Joker off of me and turned away from him.

"Baby..." I heard his dark voice say, but he actually sounded concerned.

My eyes began to flood and overflow onto my cheeks. Luka was dead. This numbness will not go away, it can't. Luka is my family! He... was my family... "Please leave me alone..." I whispered to the air.

I began to cry again, softly at first then harder than ever before. My whole body shook violently. I began to hear things, like little whispers. It was like static, crackling in the back of my thoughts then like a screeching noise. "Make it stop!" I begged, my hands pressed against my head as I curl into a ball.

I felt arms wrap around me, and I was pulled against something hard. I heard the Jokers voice.

"Shh, you're going to be okay, doll, listen to my voice." He said, and I knew that I was hearing the most human part left of him inside. "I'm here, the voices can't hurt you. That pain is all in your head. I'm real, focus on me."

Voices, I realized. They were voices in my head. The static became clear, they were whispering to me and others were screaming so loud. The Joker tightened his grip around me and I whimpered. The voices began to fade, as did the pain. I sniffled, "Do you hear them too?"

I turned slowly in his arms so that I was facing him, and I put my hands on his chest, we were both on our sides facing each other now. His arms remained around me

"The voices?" he asked, though he knew what I meant. "Sometimes. They are quieter around you. They don't want me to hurt you... well most of them don't at least..."

He looked away from my eyes sadly but remained still. "I'm sorry I did this to you."

I could see it in his expression that he had meant that, but I wasn't mad to begin with. I don't care what happens to me, I want my revenge on the bat and Joker was going to help me get that. He looked back down at me and smiled, but it wasn't his usual smile, it was sad, like his eyes. I didn't say anything. I knew my words couldn't change anything, so I nuzzled my face into the nape of his neck and wrapped my arms around it as well. He pulled me closer to his body and we laid like that for a while. I knew this side of him was rare, and I didn't trust it enough to let myself be drawn in my it. I knew exactly who he was and what he does and I needed it. The Joker was mine, but after that bat dies, so will I. If not from The Jokers hand, then by my own.