Beautiful Sins (A Joker FanFic)

Chapter Ten

I dreamed of a man. It was dark, and I could not see him. He called out to me. He begged me to hold onto my memories, but I had none? His voice was familiar however, is voice was like a catchy song, getting caught in my thoughts, in my head. Repeating, continuously looping back. He called me doll, then Raven... but my name is Hannah, Mateo told me so... I shook it off. It was just a dream.

When I woke up I was in Mateo's house, that was six hours ago. Sense the Mateo had shown me around his huge mansion, telling me about his family, and the time we had spent together. He told me about how when we were little his mom used to make us all sort of Puerto Rican delicacies like Asopao.

"Mateo?"

"Yes?" he asked looking up at me from the stares he sat on, and I took my spot next to him.

"How did I go into a coma?" I asked quietly.

He looked at me for a moment with the same worried expression as before but then he looked away from me and said, "It was my fault."

He clenched his jaw. "I was driving too fast, and you were wearing a seatbelt."

I felt a pang in my stomach. He's lying.

Why did I feel like he was lying? Why would he lie to me?

I breathed out shakily. "I had a dream last night... it kind of freaked me out..."

He looked at me blankly and then his expression softened. He leaned over and his warmth took me over again. He ran his fingers through my hair and took my face in his hands. His brown eyes looked into mine deeply and I melted. He leaned forward until our noses touched. "You have no idea."

"No idea of what?" I whispered.

"No idea how much I want to kiss you right now." He shut his eyes tightly.

"Then why don't you?" I asked softly.

"I want you to stay with me forever." He whispered, pulling my body into his. "I was so lonely before you came."

I was confused. Before I came? Suddenly we were in a bed.

"How did we get here?" I asked with wide eyes.

"Shh, don't think." He commanded gently.

I didn't think. I felt. I felt his warm body on mine, as he gently kissed my lips, like he would hurt me or something. Like I was fragile.

Raven he's in your head, it's not real, whatever they're doing to you... Come on, doll, stay strong...

I pushed Mateo off of me. "Did you hear that?"

He sighed. "Yes."

I looked at him shocked. "You're in my head?"

He looked down, eyes sad. "Don't leave me..."

I felt a pang in my chest, "Who are you really?"

"I am loneliness." He swiped his finger over the tattoo on his jaw that was in Spanish. "I am a witch."

"Aren't male witches called warlocks?" I paused. "Wait how did I remember that?"

"I let you." He sighed. "And you're right, but I don't exactly have a gender... I took form of the last human you saw whom physically appealed to you... They sent you into your own mind because they wanted me to torture you for killing Al Ghul and their family. I agreed, but I thought maybe I could keep you for my own."

Tears welled up in my eyes as I saw the sadness in his as he looked up at me. "I was exiled into a plane between existence and nothingness by my brother and sister many thousands of years ago. I had fallen in love with a human girl, and it was forbidden to mix blood."

Please come out of it, Dollface... I miss you... I was going to ask if ya loved me... I was gonna ask ya to be like me... to marry me...

I looked at the pain in Mateo's eyes, tears falling from my own. "I love him, Mateo."

He nodded quietly. "I will never be free; I understand that now."

My heart dropped. "I want to help you..."

I crawled closer to him on the bed, and I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. "Tell me how I can help you." I whispered sadly.

"The only to free me of my banishment is to reincarnate, but I cannot take my own life." He whispered numbly.

I pulled away from him, my cheeks stained with tears and my wet eyes wide open. "Y-you... you want me to kill you?"

He bit his lip and nodded. "It is the only way, please Raven, I can free you, but only if you free me in return..."

I bit my lip now. I remembered The Joker now, thankfully, and hearing what he said made me more and more desperate.

"There must be another way?" I said looking into his sad eyes.

"There is only one... other way..." he trailed off.

"What is it?" I asked.

He bit his lip, "I can be reborn... I can be... reincarnated, you would still have to kill me, but this way I would be able to live again."

"How?" I asked feeling hopeful.

"You would have to birth a child... my child..." he said with a sigh. "It's too much and I wouldn't dare ask it of you."

He looked away tears in his eyes. I knew that it all sounded weird but I just wanted to go home, and I knew the pain of loneliness all too well.

"You're serious. You're not being a fuckboy just trying to fuck me, right?" I asked seriously.

He laughed through his silent tears. "No, I am serious. Technically all I can do is have sex with you, impregnating you with my soul, your first born child would be my soul, but I would be otherwise normal I would think; not a witch/warlock, nor a god/goddess like my sister and brother."

"Wait so, you'll be your own child?" I ask.

"It is not like human impregnation, Sweet Girl. It will only be my 'soul' or 'essence'. But you will be the child, that holds my soul, mother. I will be his spiritual father yet also him, much like that story of the god whose son rose up, he is both himself and god. Only you will actually need to have sex and be impregnated when you get back to your own realm." He stated, no longer sounding Spanish, now speaking with an accent I could not identify.

"How soon?" I ask.

"I will live within you until you deliver me." He answered.

I bit the inside of my cheek. "Will I remember this?"

"No." He replied.

I nodded, but curiosity peaked. "Is Mateo your real name?"

He chuckled. "No."

Darling girl, remember the voices in your head are not your own, but never follow their advice. Only mine. From looking through your memories, I see what he did to you. When he electrocuted you, you had a brush with death. The voices are here with us, in the same plane between existence and nothingness. What you are doing for me will not go without reward.

Suddenly we stood in a candle lit room, roses surrounded us. He no longer looked like the man who appeared in my makeup room at the joker's mansion. He was much taller, at 6'6 or maybe more. He was muscular and built, and his hair was golden, it looked like the sun, and his skin was tan, his eyes were the silver-white like the moon. He had the same attraction, drawing me to him, but I knew I didn't feel anything towards this man (or god/witch or whatever).

He stepped forward and as our lip touched, light shone, and exploded around us; then there was nothing. Just darkness, floating, flying. My mind was empty and a beam of light came at me at unnatural speeds and crashed into me. I was overcome and suddenly my mind was empty of everything, except one thing. The Joker.