To Be With You | hoshi

xxv

Mingyu sat across from me. I dragged him into the library in the middle of lunch. He couldn't look at me. 

I cleared my throat. "Mingyu,", I said his name and jolted from surprise. I grabbed his hand on the table. "Do you want to break up with me?"

He finally looked at me, but with wide eyes. He shook his head. "I don't.", he replied.

"Then, what are we doing?"

Silence. Both of us knew we were going nowhere. Most especially after that happened. He doesn't even know I know what happened or even about Soonyoung...

He sighed and his grip on my hand grew tighter. "Miyoung, I like you. No, would it be too much to say I love you?

Some things just happened, and I don't know how to face you because of it."

"Mingyu, I-- I saw what happened.", I told him.

"What?" He let go of my hand.

"I know about the kiss with Yerim."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "H-how?"

"Like I said, I saw it." 

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want to make you feel bad, so I thought it's best to keep quiet about it."

"Listen, I didn't do anything wrong. She's the one who kissed me."

"I know. I just wanted to talk to you 'cause you've been avoiding me."

"I didn't want to avoid you. I also thought it was best to keep quiet about it."

"But you still did. You didn't even try to talk to me, at least greet me in the morning. Could you have been waiting for me to approach you?"

"I wasn't waiting for you. I didn't want to make you feel bad. I was thinking of what to do, but whenever I see you, I feel guilty."

"What is there to feel guilty for? She's the one who kissed you."

"Don't you even think about how I feel about this?" He suddenly raised his voice. "I've been thinking so hard on what to do for you. I can't even think properly just remembering it, and here you are, thinking you can control whatever just happened on your own? The problem revolves around me without even knowing you know about it."

"Why are you raising your voice at me? I just want things to go back to the way they were."

"How would that be?  There's this weight on my shoulder and you treat it like it's nothing? Don't you know that it's hard for me to know what you'll be like since I don't know how you feel at all."

"I'm not treating it as nothing. How did you even come up with that? I've been wanting to talk to you for days because I care about you but you're the one who's pushing me away."

"Because I care about you too! I thought you would feel bad about it but I guess this is how you feel. This is probably how you felt about me from the start..."

"What is it that I feel about? How do you know what I feel more than I do? In fact, I do feel bad about the kiss 'cause I'm your girlfriend. Why are you getting so angry at me, when I'm the one who's supposed to be angry at you?"

"...So you're not angry at me?"

"What? Of course, I a--" He put his hand out in front of my face.

"Nevermind, Miyoung. Forget it."

"Forget what?"

He stood up from his chair and stared me down. 

"Everything."

A/N: OMG I'M SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING

LIKE school's being an ass and

BUT UYEAH I'M SORRYYYYY (also bc this chap's crappy 💩 too ugh mingyuuu)

ALSOOOO thank you for the 3K views for this storyyyy ~~(*^'^*)~~ i love y'all!! *throwing virtual hearts on the internettt 💕 💞 💓 💗 💖 💘 💝**