A Dangerous Life [Teacher/Student]

He's Just That Kind Of Guy

I hit him. I don’t know what came over me to be completely honest. I hadn’t really been listening to him; I was just waiting for him to say something full of bullshit so I can kick him out. You really can’t blame me for being angry with him. After getting my heart trampled upon I finally pick him, the right guy, and he doesn’t want me. Says he doesn’t want to feed a broken heart with false love whatever the fuck that means. You know what, I can tell you what it means.

It means this: you love Mr. Clark, and even though I love you too I won’t be a replacement.

I can’t really blame him for thinking that way, but I never said that just because I loved Lyle I don’t love Eli. I do love Eli…just not as much. But he can’t just say, sorry I won’t be with you, and then expect me to lay dormant forever. That pisses me off! So you don’t want to be with me, fine! You can’t drag me out of the club and through me on my bed and yell at me for trying to get over you and Lyle at the same time! It’s my broken heart I’ll mend it the way I want to!

Then he tells me that.

That of all things he tells me that! I don’t know why I felt so angry about what he said, and I don’t know why I directed that anger onto him. I wasn’t mad at him for telling me that Carla was cheating on Lyle. What was I supposed to do with this information? I was angry with the fact he told me instead of Lyle, and I was angry that I didn’t know BEFORE they were married. But most of all I was angry at Carla. Is she not satisfied with the fact that she has the world’s perfect man? No, she has to fuck on the side too! Before I could even comprehend what I found myself with a balled up fist heading towards Eli’s nose.

He was surprised at first. The punch did more damage to my hand then his face. I shook my throbbing hand as I glared at him. He groaned and held his nose, I didn’t break it…I probably didn’t even bruise it. He was probably groaning out of surprise, maybe even to make me feel better. Eli was that kind of guy.

“What the hell was that for?” he groaned.

“I…” it was then the huge boulder that was silently sitting in my stomach decided to travel up to my throat and grow. Maybe it was all of the things that had happened just this month. Seeing Dalton again, seeing Bella and Chris, losing my father… and losing Lyle, or maybe it was just because I was drunk. Whatever the reason, I couldn’t find the words to finish my sentence. I looked at Eli and something clicked inside of me…I started to cry.

There something about this cry though, that was different from the many other times I’ve found myself shedding tears. I didn’t make a sound, and surprised me. Normally when people cry you can hear them whimper, and if their hurt bad enough…you can hear them wail. You can feel their grief as the sounds of their emotions sailed through the air and punctured your heart. But when I cried this time, it was absolutely silent. I felt like I was crying like a baby, screaming and throwing my limbs, but no.

That wasn’t the case. I could barely even hear myself breath. It was when Eli touched my shoulder, I could feel myself shaking. I was trembling underneath his palm, buckling with sadness. Tears let out a flood, as if his words were the last crack to break the dam that held most of my tears in. To be honest I wasn’t even aware my body held that much water. My hair stuck to my face because it was so wet. I sighed, and I had found my voice.