Throughout high school, Rae has only really liked one person. However, after finding out that he has a girlfriend, she did her best to stay away from him. But can she still ignore it when his presence is just too strong around her? Will she be able...
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I've been staring at my phone for I don't know how long now. Balak ko sana ay kaagad ng maghanap ng paraan para makausap si William. I don't want him to misunderstand!
But lo and behold, I freaking fell asleep!
Should I call or text? Is it better to meet now or tomorrow?
Biglang umilaw ang screen ng phone ko. I immediately grabbed it only to find out it's a promo email from an online shopping site.
"Rae? Gising ka na ba?" Si Ate Rose.
Tumungo ako sa pinto para buksan ito. Nakaayos siya at mukhang palabas na.
"May work ka today?" tanong ko. Sa pagkakaalala ko kasi, off niya ngayon.
"Wala pero pupunta ako sa grocery. Baka may gusto kang ipabili?"
"Sina Dad pala?" tanong ko muna.
"Mukhang pagod na pagod ka nga. Sinabi nila sa'yo kanina na may date sila. It's their anniversary. Binati mo pa nga yata sila bago ka naidlip."
"Oo nga pala! I was kinda out of it."
Tiningnan ko ang oras. It's almost seven. Ano kaya?
"I'm leaving now. Balik ako—"
"Ate," singit ko, "today or tomorrow?"
"Huh?" Tumaas ang isang kilay niya. "Pinapapili mo ba ako? Without any context?"
Tumango ako. Sumandal siya sa pintuan at nag-isip.
"Definitely today. Because what if tomorrow might be too late?"
"Right?" I agreed.
"Where is this conversation going? Nag-away ba kayo ng boyfriend mo? Ikaw ha, ang dami mong hindi ikinukuwento sa akin. Jules told me about meeting William. I didn't tell them anything for now. Sa mga nangyari recently, I thought it'll be better if we talked first." Sinundot niya ang tagiliran ko.
"Bakit po ba kasi ang complicated ng love?" madramang sabi ko. I am actually just trying to make light of the conversation.
"Love can be both easy and complicated. The root of most failed relationships are complications brought by poor communication and high expectations. For example, Girl A and Boy B fought but neither of them tried to talk to each other to fix the problem. Take note, A and B love each other. But factors like pride and ego might've stopped them both from initiating to fix the problem. Eventually, they stop talking and end up breaking up. Or say A expected B to behave in a certain way and B doesn't deliver, A will feel betrayed and restless until doubt overshadows the love. Result? Break up."
"Then... How can it be easy?"
"They say that as long as with you're the right person, it is."
"Paano nga ba natin malalaman na siya ang tama para sa atin?"
"By risking it."
"Of course." I smiled.
"So, nag-away nga kayo?"
"Sino po?"
"And you're on your way to fix it?"
"Sasama lang po ako sa grocery pero baka puwedeng pa-drop muna sa park?" I grinned.
"I'll give you an hour. Ilalabas ko na ang sasakyan. Lock the house ha?" Nilapitan niya ako't pinisil ang magkabila kong pisngi.
Nang mag-isa na ako'y mabilisan akong nagpalit. On my way out, I called William.
***
Nakapambahay na dumating si William—black jogging pants and blue shirt . Parang car keys at phone lang ang dala niya. His hair is disheveled as well!
"Something happened? You sounded hysterical over the phone." Hinihingal siya at halatang nag-aalala.
Did I? Parang ang sinabi ko lang naman ay puntahan niya ako sa park as soon as possible kung puwede siya. I ended the call as soon as I told him that. Come to think of it, I didn't really hear him say he'll come.
"I didn't want to wait for tomorrow." Humakbang ako palapit sa kanya.
"For...what?" Sumeryoso siya at nag-iwas ng tingin.
"You know, I think that before you, my life was pretty dull. I'm not particularly good at anything specific and average in school at best. Napaka-mundane ng bawat araw ko. I don't even have a hobby," I started.
He met my gaze and was about to interrupt but I didn't let him.
"Pero akalain mo, ikaw ang isa sa mga nagpapakulay sa repetitive na routine ko. I may have not thought about it that much before but I think I may have wanted you to always be a part of my day. Teasing you is a form of it, I guess. What I'm trying to say is... I can't let you go."
His lips parted in surprise.
"I'm not perfect but I'll make sure to always stay by your side. Para patawanin ka, para mahalin ka. Sana'y huwag mong sabihin na ginagawa at sinasabi ko ang mga ito dahil naawa ako. Or that because it's my duty to do so. You have to know that I love you so much, William Jasper Mercado."
As I held both his hands, I felt that he's trembling.
He gripped my hands and pulled me into a hug. Almost immediately, I started to tear up.
"It terrifies me to think that I have already lost you. I am indifferent and hard to be with. You saw a lot in me more than what I saw in myself. I never allowed myself to be vulnerable around anyone, even to my family. But with you, it was easy. Like as if it should only be you. Please let me stay by your side, Rae. I love you so much."
He let go, just so that we can see eye to eye. Doon ko nakita na namamasa na rin ang kanyang mga mata.
"I love you so much," he repeated.
As soon as he leaned forward, I closed my eyes. He kissed me and it was unhurried, soft and sweet.
I'll forever remember this as the moment we started all over again. That this time, we're both promising to never break each other's heart anymore. That we'll always be honest with each other. That we'll be each other's light through the darkest days.
People might say it's too early to say those things. Sure, marami pang puwedeng mangyari sa future at bata pa kami. But that's what I truly feel now.
I don't want to look back and regret that we left too many things unsaid. Now that I have this chance, I'm taking it. I'm believing us. I will live for today and love like there's no tomorrow.
---
THE END
Note: There are special chapters after this and they are all in William Jasper's POV. Please note that this story used to have multiple POVs but decided to with Rae's only when I edited the final one back in 2016. So, I'm sharing some of it.
