❝Hello, McDonald's delivery line on your service. How may I help you today?❞
❝You can help me by showing the way to your heart.❞
❝What in tarnation?❞
❝I know, I know. Men are repulsive in your life dictionary.❞
❝ . . . ❞
❝What?❞
❝Trevor, I am basically allergic to fuckboys and humans alike. And I can't help but think that you're one of them.❞
❝ . . . ❞
❝I don't know what you feel about me but I still don't really trust you.❞
❝It's cool. No hard feelings.❞
❝Hey, did you ever get those condoms though?❞
❝You wanna know why I order those condoms?❞
❝Not that I want to know but okay.❞
❝I-I had a girlfriend.❞
[ This fact shouldn't inflict any form of pain on her because we all know he's a Vagina Slayer. I mean, he probably has slayed countless card slots with his three-inch strawberry lollipop. But somehow she feels a crack tracing a line across her heart. She becomes confused with herself. ]
❝Oh, okay. . . . And?❞
❝She was going to dump me but I asked her to stay until we have our first experience in bed together.❞
❝So, what happened?❞
❝She left before I could even say 'Do you agree with that?'❞
❝I'm so sorry.❞
❝No big deal.❞ [He then mumbles something like, ❝But I have you,❞ but she couldn't make out. Sorry, I mean make it out. ]
❝I'm confused, though. Why did she dump you? And why do you need to wait until you guys have sex?❞
❝I'm a virgin.❞
❝You're lying.❞
❝I SWEAR!❞
❝Aren't you a certified man-whore or something?❞
❝Maybe a player but-❞
❝There's a fine line between player and fuckboy. You pretty much crossed that line since the first day you called in.❞
❝What's for sure, I never had sex before. I just wanted it to be special with her but I guess I'm not qualified enough.❞
❝Why don't you just buy some condoms at Seven-Eleven and then hump some camels at the side of the road if you're so sexually-deprived?❞
❝I have my own reasons.❞
❝Like what?❞
❝ . . . ❞
❝Hello?❞
❝He hung up on me again. Is this like a Tre-dition or what?❞
❝Oh my God, I actually made that pun! Are you proud of me, readers?❞
[ And there goes the fourth wall. ]
YOU ARE READING
Miss Delivery Girl
Short StoryMcDonald's delivery worker Leila Nasser finds herself forming the unlikeliest bond in the world with Trevor Tanner, a condom seeker too lewd for his own good, though he does have his own charms. But is the risk worth taking? #1 in Short Story | five...
