Don't Let Me Down (Dean Winchester FanFiction)

8. My Child

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this book except for Venessa and her life
Episode(s): 2x02
Song: Enter Sandman by Metallica

I opened my eyes. The first thing I felt was my achy arms. I was still alive. Still alive. I felt anger and sadness boil up in me.

Why did they have to save me. I don't mean anything to anyone. I told them not too.

My throat was dry and I swallowed hard. I looked around and saw Dean sleeping. Tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn't face him now. He saw me. He saw what I had done. What is he going to say. I heard foot steps enter the room beside me. It was Sam holding a coffee. He put it down on the table and looked at me with sad pitiful eyes.

"Don't look at me like that." I said with a hoarse voice.

"Venessa?" Dean woke up.

I looked back to him.

"Why?" I asked.

"Why what?"He asked me.

"Why did you let them save me. I was almost gone. Almost rid of this hell."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Venessa. You don't have to..... kill yourself to be happy."

"Well it's the only road I got. It's not like I can just stop being a hunter. Get married and have kids. That's not how it works Dean! Once you become a hunter, theres no going back. You can't escape it. It'll always come back. Trust me. I've already tried.". I looked away from him and to the cieling. "The first time I tried to get away from this life, I was pregnant. I didn't know who the father was, and I knew I couldn't raise a child in this life. Abortion wasn't an option. So I rented out a house, got a part time job and made sure I had all the things I needed for my baby to be healthy and happy. All by myself. But I was always being attacked. Demons trailing me. All sorts of things finding out that I was vulnerable. But I always won. Once I had her. Once I held her in my arms, I couldn't let go. But I knew I had too. For her. I gave her up for adoption. I wouldn't let her have this life. I wrote a letter and gave it to her parents. I told them when she turned18 to give her the letter. It was a letter saying that what I did had to be done. That it was for her own protection. I told her I loved her with all my heart and if I hadnt needed to do that I would have kept her. Given her all my love and everything I had." I paused and looked back to them with tears in my eyes. "Somewhere out there, I have a beautiful 4 year old daughter. Who probably doesn't even know I exist yet. But, I love her to death. I only held her twice. Kissed her once. And spoke 3 words to her. And then she was gone."

Dean and Sam said nothing. They just looked at eachother with sorrow in their eyes.

✡⛦⛧
The next day the hospital released me and told Sam and Dean to watch me. The pain in my ribs were still achy but other than that I was fine. We burned Johns body. I didn't want to be there so I stayed in a motel waiting for them to come back. They came back with tears in their eyes. I sat up and hugged Dean tightly and looked into his eyes. We kissed passionately. Then I got into the shower. They told me right when I'm done to come out even if I was naked. So I did. They didn't trust me to be alone anymore. Anything that was sharp in their presence or anything that could kill me in an instant they took away from me as if I was a toddler. So when I got out I wrapped a towel around me and went into the main room. Sam turned around and Dean watched me as I changed. I was getting tired of it. I wasn't gonna kill myself in front of them. If I did. When me and Dean were alone I decided to talk to him about it.

"Why do you care if I die or not."

He looked at me as if I had just punched him in the face.

"Ugh. First of all we've just been through hell together. Second of all, we've been banging eachother for a week now."

I looked away.

"Listen. We're not gonna leave you. We're not gonna treat you like crap. We care about you Venessa. You're our friend. We're here for you."

I looked at him. "Everyone I've ever loved has said that. Those exact words. Yet here I am. Alone. They've either leaft me, or died. And look what happened to you guys. I can't be loved! It's like there's something stopping me from being with the people I love. I can't stay around you. Or Sam. I wouldn't be able to live with my self if more people have died. John was my breaking point. One more time and I'm considered dead. So please. Just stay away from me." Tears rolled down my cheeks.

Dean started to walk towards me but I pushed him away. "Dean!" He came back and as I pushed him he grabed my hands and brought me into his chest and wrapped his arms around me so I couldn't move.

"You're not going anywhere. Stay with us. Please."

I tried to get out but I couldn't. We just stood there. My head on his chest. I could here his heart beat.

✡⛧⛦
It was 3 in the morning and I knew for sure Dean and Sam were asleep. I quietly got out of my bed, that I was sharing with Dean, and grabbed my bag. I looked at the sleeping brothers. Tonight I was leaving. If I stayed any longer they would die. I left the room and felt the cold air hit my face. Then I realized that I forgot my bag. I went back in and gasped in shock. A man was standing in the middle of the room smiling. He brought his finger to his mouth. "Shhhh."

I felt air rush past my head and I landed on the ground in a dark room. I looked around for any sign of where I was.

"Finally. We meet." A voice said behind me.

I turned around fast. The man was with me. He blinked and his eyes went yellow. My eyes widened. It was Azazel.

"How....how did you find me." I asked stepping away.

"It was hard, that's for sure. But now... I finally have you."

Something had pushed me and my back hit the wall behind me. I was winded but my breath came back to me.

"What do you want with me." I choked out giving him a death stare.

"Oh. Everything. I want to make you my child. With abilities I have given no one. You will lead my war for me."

"Like hell I would." I spat at him.

"Aw. That's to bad. But guess what. You have no choice in this." He smiled at me.

He took a knife out from his jacket and sliced open his wrist.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

He looked at me and grabed my jaw tightly to open it.

"What are you doing!" I started to panic.

I tried to get out of his grip but it was no use. His blood dripped into my mouth and I tasted metal. But then it changed. It started to taste.....good. It dripped into my mouth again and soon it was a stream. I let it pool in my mouth, determined not to swallow it. But soon it was over flowing and I couldn't breath. I swallowed. And at first I felt nothing. Then it was as if my stomach had exploded. My stomach was on fire. I screamed and screamed. Then my whole body was on fire. It felt like everything inside of me was boiling and cooking. I swear my body was even glowing.

"WHAT'S HAPPENING?!!" I screamed.

"Well. When someone is given a very high amount of power with such little time to gain and get used to it. It has some side effects." He smiled and watched as I screamed in pain.

My palms felt like they were boiling. I looked at them and saw boils forming in the shape of a pentegram. Then they set on fire and I watched as they started to become scars. I stretched my arms out and fire shot out of them as if it was a stream of water or even lava. I felt power surging through me and felt like I was about to explode. The firey pain had gone away and fell from the wall to the ground on my side.

"What did you do to me." I said weakly.

"I made you my child. Now..... let's get you to the arena."