Possession Of A Gangster

Chapter 8- Rip My Heart Out

*************************************Sorry for the late update! Slightly shorter chapter but will be updating a much longer and exciting one tomorrow, enjoy!
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A sudden shrill noise had me jumping up immediately. My heart rate quickened as my eyes glanced over to my phone, noticing who was calling me. Damon. I lifted it up, staring at the letters. To be honest, I was scared, so many emotions were clouding my thoughts.

My finger hovered hesitantly over the 'end call' button, it hadn't been long since I left, so he must have just detected my disappearance. Eventually I sighed, accepting my fate, I couldn't run from this forever. "Damo-"

Before I could spit out a single word, Damon's angered voice over powered mine instantly "Open your fucking door Saige." How dare he, he had no right to be annoyed right now. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

My voice came out plain and simple, no differentiation in tone. There was a slight pause. "You know how I feel about you swearing." He grunted, clearly clenching his teeth.

"What do you want Damon?" I practically sighed, I just wanted to get over him. Or, under him. For fuck sake Saige, now is not the time. There was another gap, only the sound of heavy breathing.

"I'm outside your house, open your door." My stomach sunk as he finished his demand, "Now."

I stood still for a while, unsure of what to do. He was outside my house? I can't escape, and despite everything that had happened, I was glad. This man toyed with my brain, it was so utterly draining, but so invigorating.

Ultimately, I ended up cracking and made my way to the front door, maybe it would finally end here. Maybe soon, I can try to persuade myself that I don't have feelings for the man. For so long I've been fighting the voice in my mind saying 'he is everything I need'. Maybe I can now at last win. Upon approaching my door, I hear Damon begin to shout through the phone, clearly loosing his already short patience.

"I swear to god Saige, if you don't open this door right this-" He halted immediately as I opened the door, revealing myself to him. It was as if he was in a trance, totally transfixed on my form. He just stared at me, his phone still pressed furiously to his ear. He looked desperate, and guilty, as if he was in pain.

I tried to tell myself that, it's all just an act. I felt tears threaten to well up, but I quickly pressed them back. He will not see me cry, I refuse. He enjoys me weak. Silent and staring, I begin to become uncomfortable, shuffling on the spot and lowering my eyes to my feet awkwardly.

From the top of my eye I see his arm lower his phone to his side, I looked up at this point, biting my lip slightly as my eyes once more met his.

His eyes moved down to my lips, staring at them hungrily. The simple action of me rolling my lip between my teeth has him immediately charging towards me, clashing his lips ferociously with mine.

An animalistic growl escapes from his mouth against my skin, while rasping my hair around his rough hand, pushing my body tightly against his with monstrous strength and need. He pried my lips upon with his tongue, I didn't fight it. The feel of our bodies so tightly packed had me craving release indefinitely. The imagination of him filling me completely, it was wild beyond belief.

But soon enough, as his hands lowered down my sides, I came to my senses. This couldn't happen anymore, I'm sick of getting hurt in his games. He always wins, I always loose and it's not fucking fair.

The thing is, it didn't used to be like this. All my life I had been (and still am) treated like some porcelain doll, to be preserved with care.

He altered that, he had made me feel alive, unchained and free. I loved the way I felt around him, he didn't hide me from the world, he presented my beauty and I embraced it gladly. I felt more like myself than I ever had in my life. People feared us, we were well known due to our families background, but we didn't give a shit.

However, now that we have grown up, things have changed, his disregard for my emotions was too much to handle. He breaks me, the truth is I have unknown feelings towards him, and I fear he doesn't feel the same.

Pressing my hands on his chest, I firmly push him away, breaking our kiss instantly. He looks down at me, agony in his eyes. He gently reaches for my chin, lifting my eyes to his. I don't dare look at him.

Pushing his arm away, I turn my back to him, taking a couple of steps. "What were you doing with her." My words are demanding, empty of any other emotion besides sorrow. "Saige, lis-"

No, no excuses.

"What were you doing with her Damon?" Breaking him off, I turn to face him, noticing the guilt and frustration in his eyes. If it was any other day, I wouldn't have seen anything, he would have expertly hid his secrets. But right now, he exposed himself to me completely.

He doesn't reply, causing me to snap. He was testing my patience, and right now was not the time. "Why do you do this to me? Can you not see it hurts?" Once more I feel tears dwelling, his teeth clench, clearly affected by my words. But it's the truth, it hurts me so much so why does he proceed in repeating his actions of pain every time we get too close. It's torture.

He lets out a breath. "It's not what you think." And For the first time since meeting him, I saw Damon weak. He muttered, barely audible if it wasn't for the tense filled silence. Usually he knew exactly what to say to have me swooning around to him, he knew his tricks well. But right now, he had no idea what to do, the inner-turmoil racing through him like a bullet.

"It was, 7 years ago it was what I thought." My volume increased as I approached him "I was in fucking love with you, why Damon, why did you do it?" He tensed, as if he was only now recalling why he actually did it. His eyes scanned over me, sorrow filling them to the brim. He was fighting something inside, all I wanted to know was what.

But soon enough, the indignant eyes closed as he let out a slight sigh. When he eventually opened his eyes, I no longer saw the emotions I previously viewed. His eyes were empty, his cold hard eyes penetrating in to mine.

I didn't weaken though, like I usually did when overpowered by those grey eyes of his, instead it only urged to press my point further.

"I know you loved me Damon, so why fuck it all up and break me?" He took a step forward, causing me to hold my breath. The intimidation overpowering.

"Because I didn't love you, I don't love you, and I never will. Because Saige, she was a much better fuck than you would have been, she was free of any bullshit charge; I was through with wasting my time with your pathetically frigid young self." My palm meets his hand with a sudden force of anger. The brisk sound clapped through the tension in the air.

"Get out of my fucking house." My words were snappy and laced with disgust. Clenching his fists, he turned and left, slamming the door behind him. I stood still in the middle of the room, failing to comprehend his agonising words.

After a while, I hear him, through the door, furiously punch his car. And with that I collapse to the floor, overcome with pain and sadness. He had broken me. Again.

He had inevitably returned to his usual ways. Manipulating me to him, and then, when it gets a bit too close for comfort, insulting/rejecting and hurting me once more. Those words, I don't know whether I can recover. It hurt, it fucking hurt so much. I clench at my chest with my hand, my eyes erupting with tears, tears long held back by pride and defiance.

It shouldn't hurt this much! I had to be angry right now, not other emotion would be acceptable. But this despondency only allows me to realise something. Something I didn't want to understand.

I'm hopelessly, inevitably and painfully in love with him.

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