Possession Of A Gangster

Chapter 18- Natural Instinct

I inhaled suddenly, the small gasp the only sound audible in the room. The few seconds of silence seemed to last for a lifetime. "Oh my god. How?" I had totally forgot about his brother. I was never really fond of him, he used to bully me when we were little, but of course we were children then, I would have never wished death upon him.

"Does it really matter." There was no emotion in his words, as if the revelation didn't bother him in the slightest, but I knew him. I knew the truth behind his expressionless features. This affected him more than he would say.

"Damon, it's okay to be upset. Talk to me." I cupped his cheek, forcing his eyes to meet mine. Instantly, he gripped my wrist painfully. I winced causing him to loosen his grip slightly, but his hand still remained there.

"Don't Saige.." His eyes were cold. It hurt me, it hurt me so much to know that he was hurting, but refused to acknowledge it. He always has to have that 'tough' facade, but I thought were past that. I thought he loved and trusted me enough to let me in. "Damon.. you're hurting me." His head dropped at the same time as his arm. "Get out."

His order was simple, straightforward, but I chose to ignore him. He's grieving, he needs me. "Damon, not while you're grieving, please we can talk abo-" I was cut off suddenly as Damon erupted in front of me. "I said fucking go, I hated him, I don't give a fuck, I just want you to get out!" His figure towered over me, all I felt was weak, unwanted, un-needed. I knew it wasn't affecting him dearly, it was his brother, regardless of the fact that he 'hated' him, he was flesh and blood.

Yet, I cracked. Maybe all he needed was to be alone, I'm not going to be the cause of anymore friction, although I can't say it hurts. Instead, I just nodded curtly, before leaving and shutting the door behind me. Upon exit, I inhaled deeply, preventing tears from arriving. I just wanted to be there for him, it upset me to know that he didn't need me during one of his worse times. Standing outside the door for a bit with my hand placed against it, I eventually left, hopping in my car and driving off silently.

Arriving outside my house, I stopped, scraping my hands through my hair. I didn't know how to solve this. Despite him clearly not wanting to discuss the matter, I needed to, I knew it would only make things worse if he bottled his emotions up for so long.

And then I felt it. That cold and all too familiar feeling. Someone was watching me. All the hairs on my arms and back stood straight. Peering into the darkness I double checked that my car doors were locked. That man, the one, the leader of my abuse, he's still yet to be found. Damon swore to kill him as soon as he had, but he hadn't. He hadn't found him.

A wave of fear washed over me, I felt like crying, all the memories rushing back. Eyeing up my door I contemplated making a quick sprint, it wasn't that far. However none of my family are at home, it's only the security. Anwar and my father are in New York on 'business' and my mother is in England attending her childhood bestfriends wedding. They all were reluctant to leave me after what happened, but the promise of protection from, not only the paid security, but Damon aswell settled their minds.

Unsure of what to do, I suddenly came to a rash decision and bolted to my front door. Practically tackling the door and diving in, I swiftly locked the door behind me, panting unhealthily. Why had I been so scared over a feeling? It was probably just my mind playing tricks on me? Closing most of the curtains and making sure every door/window was locked, I checked to see if security were stationed in the right places. After being assured of their presence, and that they had watched me enter the building, I sighed in relief.

It was more than likely one of them watching me. Although I felt so worried, threatened, my instincts had gone full power, immediately notifying me that something was wrong. I chose to brush the thoughts away and take a well-needed hot shower.