Possession Of A Gangster

Chapter 20- 'Mummy And Daddy'

It felt like I had been sat there for an eternity, constantly fiddling with my fingers as the seconds rolled by. I was so nervous, worried about what his reaction would be. Sat outside his door eyeing the road impatiently, I pulled the test out of my bag once more. I'm pregnant.

Those two words caused a whole array of emotions, from giddiness to dread in no time. Suddenly, I noticed Damons car slither its way down the road. Swiftly putting the test back in my bag, I stood up and brushed down my outfit.

Inhale, exhale. How long had it taken him to exit his vehicle and walk towards me? Only a few seconds, but for me it felt more like a few hours. I tapped my foot impatiently, the nerves and giddiness rushing around me.

Walking straight to me, Damon kissed me before opening his door and walking in. I paused for a moment, before shaking my head and following in behind him. "Damon."

Upon immediate entry he had poured himself a glass of scotch. I furrowed my brows, he usually only drinks that when he's stressed. And that's when I recalled what Carter had said, Damon had been dealing with his brother. Maybe now wouldn't be the best time to tell him after all.

No. If I don't tell him now, I'll work myself up even more, I need to get it over and done with. Rip it off like a plaster. "Damon I-" I was cut off immediately "Not now Saige, I don't want to deal with another one of your dramas."

His back was facing me as he looked out the window, gulping down his drink quickly before pouring another.  I stuttered slightly. My confidence was weakening by the minute, this would be a lot more difficult that I thought. His mood right now may alter the true reaction he would have if he was in the right state of mind.

But I have to tell him. If I don't now, I never will. "Damon this is really impor-"

"God damn it Saige, can't we just fuck and you can bother me tomorrow?" He asked, fury in his eyes. Is that what he thought of me? Someone he just wants to fuck? Someone who's  needs 'bother' him.

I just stared at him blankly. This wasn't Damon. This wasn't Damon. I kept repeating that in my head, but I was hurt by his words. "Is that what you think of me?" My voice was barely over a whisper, filled with emotion.

His body sagged and his features sagged. "No of course not, I'm sorry." He kissed me, but I pushed away slightly. He can't just say things like that and expect a kiss is going to whip me back to shape. His words offended me, was I just a fuck to him? He wouldn't have said it if he hadn't thought of it atleast once.

"Look, I know you're upset about your brother, but you can't just snap at me like that. It's not fair Damon." His jaw clenched at the mention of his brother and he turned his face away from mine. He was getting angry.

"I don't know why everyone all of a sudden thinks that I'm some fragile mourner, I don't give a fuck about my brother, I hadn't spoken to him in 3 years!" The more he spoke, the lifer and angrier he got.

"Damon, calm down." My voice was hoarse, I had never seen him so angry. It pained me, he was storing away his emotions, and this is what is happening because of it. He needs to know, he doesn't always have to be this big, tough, scary man. He's allowed to hurt.

"No! You don't know a thing Saige, you don't know what he fucking did." He seethed, his anger growing. He's right, I don't know a thing, because he keeps shit from me. I smell the alcohol strong on his breath, he's drunk.

I closed my eyes and inhaled slightly, "Damon, you're drunk." Flinching suddenly, the sound of shattered glass erupted in front of me. "That doesn't mean a fucking thing, fuck you, I'm off."

I opened my eyes, tears growing rapidly. I refused to believe that this was him, it was the mourning, the alcohol. At the back of my head, two words were repeating themselves over and over again. I'm pregnant.

"What do you mean 'you're off'?" My voice was louder now, I refused to allow him to speak to me like that. We were having a fucking child for god sake, he doesn't know that right now, yeh, but I do. I do, and this is not how I want to tell him.

"I'm leaving this town for a while." He said, returning his gaze out the window. My anger sky-rocketed, the fuck he is.

"What so that's it? You're just leaving me, after all that's fucking happened!" Tears were flowing freely, but I quickly wiped them away, attempting to hide my sadness. "What a fucking coward, refuse to appear something you're allowed to be, so you run away from those you love?"

This time I didn't wipe my tears. The more I said spoke, the more it set in. Is this it? So long has Damon been there watching me, protecting me. Sure, it's only recent that I realised the truth, but for so long has Damon been a huge part of my life. For so long have I loved him. And now what, he runs away from his feelings and leaves me. How dare he.

My anger descended as the sadness sky-rocketed. I was beyond hurt. I love him, and what's worse is, I know he loves me.

It's as if history is repeating itself.

He turned, reaching a hand out to wipe away my tears. My reaction was quick as I slapped away his hand, turning my back to him. I'm pregnant. We're pregnant. The tears wouldn't stop, a constant reminder of the immense pain this was.

I couldn't face him any longer. Let him fucking leave. Turning, I stormed downstairs. He was following me, again, he's always there. But not for long. I opened the door, turned to look at him once more, and quickly slammed it behind me.

I couldn't hear very well, but I could have sworn I heard him say "I love you." Before the door erupted behind me. Clutching my chest I sobbed my way to the car. Yet again, it physically hurt. It hurt so fucking bad knowing, he wasn't doing this to protect me. He wasn't doing this because he was forced to.

And then I drove away, the pregnancy test peeking out my bag beside me.

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